The air is thick with the scent of lavender and eucalyptus, yet the strained faces of locals tell a different story. Despite the abundance of massage parlours lining High Street, an undercurrent of tension permeates the town.
“There’s a massage joint every 20 meters, but does that mean I’m relaxed? Hell no!” exclaimed resident Kevin Davies, furiously honking his horn at a car attempting to parallel park. “I’m more stressed out than ever!”
“I’ve tried them all,” said Jody Rogerson, 43, as she sat in her ute, staring out at the neon signs of High Street. “I reckon it’s the lavender oil—it’s starting to piss me off.”
The root of the problem remains a mystery. Despite the copious options for relaxation, High Street continues to be home to the angriest pedestrians in Bendigo. “I don’t get it,” remarked Gary Muggins, owner of ‘Happy Endings (But Not Like That).’ “We’ve got everything from hot stone therapy to Reiki, but people keep walking around, ready to knock a chai latte out of your hand.”
“The moment customers walk out the door, they’ve just remembered they live in Bendigo.”
