Local Man Believes Everyone Else In Bendigo Drives Like An Idiot

As COVID-19 restrictions start to ease around Australia, most of Bendigo are back in their offices today.

A survey conducted by the Bendigo Standard shows that most of Bendigo have forgotten basic road rules such as giving way at a roundabout and general jackassery.

Jeff Heck from Golden Triangle believes everyone received their licence from the Prince Philip Driving School.

“I’m a great driver, everyone else is driving like an idiot,” says Thong McGreen from Kangaroo Flat.

“Taking away their car does squat because they can buy another car.”

Our tips for driving in Bendigo

Plan ahead – Give yourself plenty of time on the road. Leave an hour earlier if you live in Huntly or Epsom.
Calm yourself – Listen to music you enjoy, relax your grip. Don’t play Nickelback. It will make you angry.
Be the grownup – Ignore obscene gestures. They’ve never actually learned Auslan. Hearing-impaired people think they suck too.
Be polite – Lay off the horn unless you get cut off. That’ll show them who’s boss.
It’s not you, it’s them – Don’t take an angry driver’s aggression personally. They’re the jackass. Not you. You’re an amazing driver.
Don’t go home – If an aggressive driver follows you, drive to the nearest police station or just follow them to their work and get them fired. After all, they deserve it.

The Bendigo Standard
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