The red posting box outside the post office in the CBD has come forward with an unexpected confession: it gets hot and bothered every time someone slides mail through its slot.
Red Box expressed its newfound passion for everything postal, speaking exclusively to The Bendigo Standard. “I never thought I’d say this, but the sensation of envelopes and postcards being thrust into my dark abyss gets me hot,” the mailbox revealed with a metallic blush.
Ethel Davis, an Australia Post customer, expressed her disbelief, saying, “I never thought twice about dropping bills in that box until now.”
Telstra Pay Phone, which witnesses the peculiar interactions daily, seemed equally disturbed. “I thought my life was complicated when people mistook me for street art, but this takes the cake.”
Red Box told Pay Phone, “It’s a mail thing, you wouldn’t understand.”
Yellow Express Posting Box disapproved deeply of its neighbour’s sensual revelation. “We aim to serve mail with purity and grace, not indulge in such carnal desires. I don’t want to be associated with that kind of behaviour.”
The City of Greater Bendigo has yet to release an official statement. One thing’s for sure – the next time you slide a letter into a red posting box, remember, you might make its day in more ways than one.
