Local man Darren Wilson has found himself in a dire situation – he’s officially run out of durries to give to a complete stranger. The generous nicotine philanthropist, known for lighting up and sharing his cigarettes with anyone within a 10-foot radius, has hit rock bottom in his unselfish endeavours.
Eyewitnesses report that Wilson was approached by a random passerby who casually asked for a smoke, only to be met with a solemn shake of the head from the nicotine-deprived Samaritan. “It was like watching a superhero run out of powers,” said one spectator.
“I never thought I’d see the day,” said one onlooker. “Darren always had a pack on hand, ready to spread the joy of secondhand smoke to the masses. It’s like the town’s generosity metre just hit zero.”
In the meantime, Darren is considering launching a GoFundMe campaign to replenish his supply, ensuring that no stranger is left nicotine-deprived on his watch.
