Here’s our guide to what the stars have in store for YOU!
♈ ARIES
March 21 to April 19
Oh, look at you, charging headfirst into every situation like you’re the centre of the universe! Well, newsflash, Aries, the world doesn’t revolve around you!
Lucky Colour: Reckless red. Because that’s about as much thought as you put into anything!
♉ TAURUS
April 20 to May 20
Taurus, the stubborn bull. Oh, great! It’s just what we need—another obstinate bovine in the china shop of life!
Lucky Colour: Obstinate orange because subtlety is just not in your vocabulary!
♊ GEMINI
May 21 to June 20
Ah, Gemini, the twins of the zodiac. You never know which of you will show up – the charming conversationalist or the two-faced gossip.
Lucky Colour: Split-Personality Yellow
♋ CANCER
June 21 to July 22
Oh, Cancer, you’re so sensitive. It’s like everything hurts your delicate little feelings. You can’t handle criticism without bursting into tears, can you?
Lucky Colour: I-Need-a-Hug Blue.
♌ LEO
July 23 to August 22
Leo, the attention-seeking lion: Look at me, look at me! It’s always got to be about you. You’re as needy as a puppy with separation anxiety.
Lucky Colour: Ego-Boosting Gold
♍ VIRGO
August 23 to September 22
Virgo, the perfectionist maiden. Oh, please, spare us all from your nitpicking and obsessive tendencies. You’re about as fun as a tax audit.
Lucky Colour: Perfectionist Purple.
♎ LIBRA
September 23 to October 22
Libra, the indecisive scale. You can’t decide to save your life, can you? You’re as wishy-washy as a politician on a hot-button issue.
Lucky Colour: Indecisive Pink
♏ SCORPIO
October 23 to November 21
Scorpio, the vengeful scorpion. Watch out, everyone, we’ve got a grudge-holder in the house! You’re as spiteful as a toddler who didn’t get their way.
Lucky Colour: Vengeful Red.
♐ SAGITTARIUS
November 22 to December 21
Sagittarius, the commitment-phobic archer, is always on the move and never settles down. You’re about as reliable as a weather forecast during a hurricane.
Lucky Colour: Restless Orange?
♑ CAPRICORN
December 22 to January 19
Capricorn, the workaholic goat. Nothing screams “fun” like burying yourself in spreadsheets and deadlines. You’re as exciting as a stale loaf of bread.
Lucky Colour: Ambitious Black.
♒ AQUARIUS
January 20 to February 18
Aquarius, the detached water-bearer. Oh, excuse me while I try to figure out what planet you’re on today. You’re as emotionally available as a brick wall.
Lucky Colour: Non-Conformist Turquoise?
♓ PISCES
February 19 to March 20
Pisces, the daydreaming fish, you’re swimming around in your own little fantasy world, aren’t you? You’re about as grounded as a helium balloon.
Lucky Colour: Daydreamer Green.
