Local Hipster Claims His Moustache Is a Registered Therapy Animal

Local hipster, Dash Hawthorne, announced yesterday that his moustache, fondly named “Whiskers,” is now a registered therapy animal. The 29-year-old coffee enthusiast says he’s been training his facial hair to provide emotional support since the lockdown.

According to Mr Hawthorne, “Whiskers” is more than a trendy facial accessory. “Whiskers has healing powers,” he said while sipping a babyccino at his favourite artisan café.

“It has a calming effect,” he insists, “people just can’t resist stroking it.”

The registration process for therapy animals is typically stringent. However, Hawthorne managed to convince officials of Whiskers’ therapeutic value. He claims that people find solace in the twirled ends of his moustache.

Close friend Wendy Davies confirmed the positive impact of Whiskers. “It’s a bit odd, but stroking Dash’s moustache helped me relax,” she stated.

Mr Hawthorne remains unfazed, planning to take Whiskers to nursing homes and schools. “I just want to share Whiskers’ magic,” he said, stroking his moustache with pride.

As Whiskers’ fame grows, hipsters across Bendigo wonder if their facial hair holds similar therapeutic potential. Only time – and perhaps a few more chai lattes – will tell.

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