Bendigo Health has proudly rolled out its latest wellness venture: the revolutionary “Coffee IV Drips.” Who needs traditional methods of caffeine consumption when you can have an intravenous java infusion straight into your veins?
“With the Coffee IV Drips, we’re not just waking people up; we’re jumpstarting their entire existence,” Dr Watts told The Bendigo Standard.
Local enthusiasts can now bypass mundane rituals like sipping, swallowing, or even chewing coffee beans. Instead, a skilled team of barista nurses administers a personalized blend of joe directly into patients’ circulatory systems.
“It’s like an espresso shot to the heart, quite literally,” chuckled Dr Watts, emphasizing the project’s life-altering potential.
As word spreads, Bendigo Health anticipates a surge in productivity, questionable TikToks in hospital corridors, and a sharp decline in decaf-related incidents. In a city known for its bold coffee culture, the Coffee IV Drips are poised to redefine the meaning of a “perk” at work.
