Pizza Guy Is Probably High

In a groundbreaking display of unwavering commitment to his craft, local pizza guy Dave “Doughboy” Dobson has achieved unprecedented job satisfaction – or perhaps just satisfaction, in general.

Eyewitnesses report that Dave’s laid-back demeanour and perpetually red eyes might not be symptoms of chronic exhaustion but a testament to his dedication to the age-old tradition of “herbal enlightenment”. Sources close to the man suggest that he’s not just delivering pizza; he’s delivering a slice of the cosmic experience.

Despite concerns about the potential for misdelivered orders, customers seem surprisingly content, with some even requesting extra oregano on their pizzas. While some may question his choice of toppings, one thing is for sure: this pizza delivery guy is on a whole other level – literally.

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