Local man Jeremy Wilkins has reportedly managed to stop at the Alexandra Fountain and not make eye contact with a charity collector.
Eyewitnesses to the remarkable display of avoidance described Wilkins as displaying a level of determination and focus rarely seen outside Olympic athletes.
“He was like a ninja out there,” remarked one driver who witnessed the spectacle. “He had this steely look of determination in his eyes, but he kept them firmly fixed on the traffic lights. It was almost mesmerising.”
The charity collector in question, soliciting donations for a cause unknown due to Mr Wilkins’ expert evasion tactics, appeared visibly perplexed by his inability to engage the driver in conversation.
“I’ve seen some impressive dodges in my time, but this guy was next level,” said the collector, who wished to remain anonymous. “I even tried shaking the bucket several times, but he kept his window up. It was like he was wearing horse blinders or something.”
When reached for comment, Wilkins downplayed the significance of his actions.
“I was just in a hurry to get to the optometrist to get my teeth checked… yeah, yeah, that’s it,” he explained. “Besides, I already donate online, so I figure I’m doing my part.”
For now, Jeremy Wilkins remains an enigmatic figure. One thing is sure: his ability to avoid eye contact with a charity collector will go down in history as one of the most remarkable displays of prowess ever witnessed.
