Powercor Apologises for Swamp Ass

Bendigo has been inundated with high cases of Swamp Ass due to the high number of power outages.

Ronald McNuggets from Powercor said “We would like to apologise for not only the power being cut off but for the high number of cases of Swamp Ass. We apologise for the inconvenience when you sit down. We had no idea it would get this bad to be honest.”

Swamp Ass can occur during periods of intense physical activity. It is a condition where your butt becomes sweaty giving you the feeling that your butt is actually in a swamp.

Swamp Ass is known to mainly affect bike riders and gym junkies in normal weather conditions.

People have been stocking up on talcum powder in preparation for this weekend’s Australia Day scorcher of 180 degrees.

Bendigo Health has seen a high increase in the number of cases of bum rash due to Swamp Ass.

February is around the corner and there is no relief in sight with next month called Swamp Ass Awareness month.

The first known case of Swamp Ass was when Captain Cook sailed into Botany Bay in 1788 after being stuck on a sweaty boat for 3 years.

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