BREAKING: Council To Repair Roads That Actually Don’t Needed Fixing

The Bendigo council has committed $5,000,000 to repair roads that actually don’t need fixing.

“We’re planning in 6 months time to rip up and redo the roundabout at the bottom of Murphy St,” a council spokesperson said. “We started redoing Maiden Gully road in Maiden Gully even though it was fine, we just thought we could do better. We can’t help demolishing and rebuilding stuff, didn’t you see Lego Masters?”

North Bendigo resident Gerald Fitzgerald said “They changed the roads in the CBD and chucked in a 40 km speed limit because there are too many morons doing mainies. They ruined it for all of us.”

His neighbour John Bubbletap-McCoy said, “At least the unnecessary roadworks are not as bad as the Lansell Plaza carpark or whatever its called now.”

Future roadworks include the Arnold Street Intersection, the entire Eaglehawk Road, Sandhurst Road, Midland Highway in Huntly and a couple of small streets no one actually drives down.

At the moment its the City of Not-Bad Bendigo, or even the City of Pretty Good Bendigo. Only when the roadworks are done, it will be the City Of Greater Bendigo.

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