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Every article… ever!

• Bendigo’s Oldest Pothole Nominated for State Heritage Listing
• Locals Resort to Selling Organs As Fuel Prices Soar
• AFL Suggests Putting Zip Ties On Your Helmet To Prevent Magpie Attacks During Finals
• Bendi-Con Cosplayer Dressed As Doctor Manhattan Told To Chuck Pants On
• Bendigo Community Health Service Provides Free Condoms for Aged Care Homes
• Bendigo Breaks Silence on Alien Abduction Phenomenon – Turns Out They Just Want Good Coffee
• Local Conspiracy Theorist Discovers Council’s Sinister Plot: They’re Planting Trees
• Study Shows 99% of People Unaware They’re Background Characters in Someone Else’s Life
• Local Man Plans To Contract COVID-19 To Avoid His Own Wedding
• Primary School Wink Murder Game Turns Deadly. Parents Push for “Rock, Paper, Scissors”
• Marong Plans To Move Entire Town 2 Metres To The Left; Feng Shui Master Consulted
• Breaking News: Water Discovered to Be the Leading Cause of Drowning
• Victoria Bans Gas Connections, Opting for Power from Politicians’ Hot Air Instead
• Local Invents Time Machine, Travels to Future. Discovers He Still Has HECS Debt
• Listing Of The Week! The Ultimate Indoor Retreat!
• Bendigo Man’s Self-Esteem Soars: Believes He’s a Bendigo 5 But A Long Gully 9
• Bendigo Brewery Develops Beer That Doubles as Beard Oil
• Local Man Claims Yowie Sighting, Turns Out to Be Hairy Neighbour Taking Out the Trash
• Your Horoscope – Week Of July 3, 2023
• AI Chatbot Reviews Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny
• Jumper Cables Missing, Police Have No Leads
• Dad Achieves Legendary Status with Classic “Hi Bored, I’m Dad” Joke
• Castlemaine to Host World’s Most Boring Film Festival
• Nation in Crisis as Taylor Swift Tickets Prove Scarcer Than Unicorn Tears
• Kids Already Bored on First Day of School Holidays: Declare “Nothing to Do, Ever”
• Your Horoscope – Week Of June 26, 2023
• Spider-Man Fan Says He Would Avenge His Uncle’s Death, But Not That Creepy One
• Woman Marries Smartphone, Claims It’s the Only One Who Truly Understands Her
• Jenny’s ELC Introduces New Cage Fighting Curriculum
• Local Hipster Claims His Moustache Is a Registered Therapy Animal
• Flying Foxes Turns Rosalind Park into Unexpected Thrill-Seekers’ Playground
• Bendigo Churches Insist They Are Nothing Like Hillsong
• Man Discovers New Cat Species in Rosalind Park, Turns Out to Be Just a Possum
• Bendigo Bank Rolls Out Man Flu Leave
• New Study Shows 50% of People Can’t Spill
• ChatGPT Reviews The Little Mermaid
• Council Turns Potholes Into 5000 New Swimming Pools
• Bendigo Residents To Vote On Correct Pronunciation Of ‘Mall’
• Your Horoscope – Week Of May 22, 2023
• Castlemaine Plans Monumental Hipster Statue
• ChatGPT to Replace Bendigo Councillors, Promises to Be More Human than Actual Humans
• Sovereign Hill Historical Reenactor Devastated to Learn That World Has Moved on From Bowler Hats
• Local Woman Drops Phone In Lake Weeroona. Turtles Unimpressed by iPhone 14
• Your Horoscope – Week Of May 8, 2023
• ChatGPT Reviews Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3
• Galactic Empire Celebrates Star Wars Day by Blowing Up Bendigo
• Centrelink Hold Music Crushes Caller’s Spirit
• Local Woman Is 100% Sure The Discman In Cashies Is Hers
• Local Family Attempts Unprecedented 253rd Consecutive Taco Tuesday, Daring to Keep Tradition Alive
• Groovin The Moo Unleashes Brown Note, Neighbours Devastated by Uncontrollable Bowel Movements
• Unidentified Substance Found in Groovin The Moo’s Water Supply, Turns Out to Be Glitter
• Festivalgoers Swear They Can’t Feel Bass Even Though Stage Is 2 Metres Away
• Groovin The Moo Festivalgoer Overdoses on Good Vibes, Taken to Hospital
• Groovin The Moo’s Porta-Loos Named Bendigo’s Cleanest Toilets
• Groovin The Moo’s “Leave No Trace” Policy Now Includes Emotional Baggage
• Man Who Married Horse Saddles Up As Jerry Springer’s Pallbearer
• “Can Anyone Smell Weed Around Pall Mall?” Locals Demand Answers
• Amazon Echo Said It Heard Everything, And It’s Telling Mum
• Bendigo Pottery Unveils Chic Chamber Pots; Trendsetters Rush to Replace Their Toilets
• Study Finds People Who Ride Mobility Scooters Don’t Know Footpaths Actually Exist
• Letters To The Editor: Bendigo Creek Stink and The Talking Tram’s Midlife Crisis
• Hey Kids! Here’s Some Fun Activities For You
• “Groovin the Pew”: Holy Spirits Ignite Christian Music Festival
• Your Horoscope – Week Of May 1, 2023
• Grandparents Continue The Tradition Of Making Their House Smell Weird
• Man Found Living In The Rosalind Park Kaleidoscope, Claims He’s Just Another Reflection
• Blissfully Ignorant Parents-to-Be Fantasize About The Magical World of Parenthood
• La Trobe’s Bruce Week Rises from the Ashes, Now Named After WIN News Presenter
• Tourist Accidentally Books Tickets For Oprah, Not Opera
• Your Horoscope – Week Of April 17, 2023
• ChatGPT Reviews ‘Air’: When Michael’s Jordan’s Saved Our Soles
• Man Discovers Lost Treasure in Bendigo Creek, Turns Out to Be Shopping Trolley
• V/Line Unveils “Awkward Silence” Carriage for Dad Joke Aficionados
• Mum Swaps Son’s Room for Grandma; Kid’s World Crumbles
• Coles Implements A Slow Checkout Lane for Those Who Enjoy a Good Chat
• Local Dad Wears Socks With Sandals; Secretly Believes He’s A Fashion Icon
• Your Horoscope – Week Of April 10, 2023
• Local Man Entombed In Fridge On Friday Escapes On Sunday, Surprising Loved Ones
• Dog Furious It Can’t Eat Chocolate at Easter, Demands Scientific Proof
• Easter Bunny Flees Egg Hunt After Big Poo Is Mistaken for Chocolate Treat!
• E-Scooters Given the Go-Ahead; “Oh Shit! We’re All Gonna Die” Says Pedestrian
• Dad & Son Dodgem Duo Ready to Chuck Some Doughies at The Easter Festival
• Huntly Train Station: Officially the Least Visited Place on Earth
• Study Finds 7 Out of 10 Bendigo Dogs Prefer Craft Beer to Tap Water
• ChatGPT Reviews Mario Bros Movie
• Sacred Heart Cathedral’s New Stained Glass Window: Jesus Wearing Ugg Boots
• Bendigo’s Gold Mines Contain Chocolate Coins, Claims Local Conspiracy Theorist
• Your Horoscope – Week Of April 3, 2023
• Bendigo Standard Runs Out of News, Publishes Satirical News Article Instead
• Bendigo Man Refuses to Drink Coffee. Townsfolk Declare Him a Witch
• Bible Story Hour Debuts at Bendigo Library With Godly Flair
• Smart Fridge Locks Out Owner after 3 am Snack Binge
• Huntly Resident Patiently Awaits Vengabus for a Quarter Century
• Myer Bendigo Unveils Lisa Chesters’ Red Jacket Line
• Eaglehawk Reebok’s Crowned Official Footwear Of The 2026 Commonwealth Games
• New Study Shows That 100% of People Who Exercise Regularly Will Eventually Die
• Local Man’s Inability to Parallel Park Now Considered a Tourist Attraction
• 5-Year-Old Goes To The Hostabul To Get Tonsils Wemoved
• Your Horoscope – Week Of March 27, 2023
• Bendigo Fun Runners Finish Three Weeks Later Due to Excessive Sightseeing
• Local Man Excited to Spend Life Savings For Priceless Easter Fair Experience
• Shopper Clears 8000th Theft Suspicion By Big W Door Greeter
• Bendigo Celebrates Annual “Not Ballarat” Festival
• Bendigo’s Potholes Now Officially Classified as Tourist Attractions
• Bendigonians Successfully Steal Sydney Opera House, Claim “Finders Keepers”
• New Law Court’s Mime Courtroom Handles Cases in Complete Silence
• Study Reveals Bendigo Has More Cafés Than People
• Your Horoscope – Week Of March 20, 2023
• ChatGPT Reviews John Wick 4
• Qantas’ Bendigo To Sydney Mile High Club Attracts Lovers
• Cocaine Drop Bear Spotted On The O’Keefe Rail Trail
• BREAKING! King Bowser Does Not Work At Bowser Bean
• Holy Shit! Macca’s Frozen Coke Machine Actually Works
• I’m The Eaglehawk Cannon And I Want My Balls Back
• Your Horoscope – Week Of March 13, 2023
• Local Woman Convinced Fitted Sheets Don’t Want Folding
• ChatGPT Reviews Avatar: The Way of Water
• Jackass Flat Residents Latest Push for Name Change
• Your Horoscope – Week Of March 6, 2023
• Ratepayers Can’t Wait To See How The Council Spends Their Hard Earned Money
• Locals Disappointed There’s No Hoverboards In The Garden Of The Future
• Your Horoscope – Week Of February 27, 2023
• Bendigo Council Votes To Rename Huntly to Moist
• ChatGPT Reviews Cocaine Bear
• Building Evacuated After Work Colleague Sprays Lynx Africa
• Uber Eats Driver Eats Customer’s Order To Prove Point on Unsanitary Working Conditions
• Mario Wonders How Luigi Can Afford A Haunted Mansion In Bendigo On A Plumbers Salary
• Your Horoscope – Week Of February 20, 2023
• Wacky Waving Inflatable Tube Guy Sits In Bendigo Council Meeting
• ChatGPT Reviews Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania
• Wife Reminds Husband It’s Hot For The 50 Millionth Time
• “Toddler Buying Beach Shovel And Bucket Is A Hitman” Says Toyworld Employee
• Entire Family Admits They Hate Newborn’s Stupid Name
• Local Mum Serves Up A Delicious Serving Of Air From The Air Fryer
• Man Announces To The Missus The Pan Is Still Soaking
• Local Pays For Tattoo With A Cash Converters Loan
• 10 More Doughnut Shops Planned For Bendigo Marketplace
• Man Drives Like A Moron Hoping He Ends Up On Highway Patrol
• Man Celebrates 40th Birthday At Strath Village Maccas
• Dragon Museum Launches Mother-In-Law Expo
• Teenager Vapes In Hargreaves Mall To Prove He’s Cool
• Lansell Square Replaces Chadstone As The Fashion Capital
• Man Trying To Get A 42″ TV Into His Toyota Yaris Should Have Bought A Bigger Car
• Year 12 Student’s Daughter Starts Year 7
• Food Left In School Bag Over The Christmas Holidays Creates New Colony
• City Of Greater Bendigo To Introduce 7 New Wheelie Bins
• Read An Excerpt From Prince Harry’s Memoir About His Visit To Bendigo
• Long Gully Splash Park To Sell ‘Lemonade’
• Driver Films OnlyFans on Talking Tram Tour
• Council Requires Every Driver To Flip The Bird At Intersections
• Cambrian Patron Is Actually 3 Kids In A Trench Coat Pretending To Be An Adult
• Coles Busker Added To Groovin The Moo Line Up
• Explosive Prince Harry Memoir Reveals He Was Conceived On One Tree Hill Lookout
• Long Gully Splash Park Doubles As A Urine Recycling Centre
• New Pothole Memorial Walk Unveiled
• Local Soccer Player “Injured” After Partner Suggests Visiting The In-Laws
• Toilet Discovered On Mickey Mouse Hill
• Local Legend At Aquatic Centre Performs Belly Flop
• Student Secretly Believes Chemistry Teacher Is A Drug Kingpin
• Bendigo Train Station Selected As The Official Karate Venue For 2026 Commonwealth Games
• Bendigo Coles Only Playing ‘All I Want For Christmas’ For The Next 8 Weeks
• Dad’s Sneeze Sounds Like The Hulk Escaping A Vacuum Cleaner
• Nauseatingly Insufferable Couple Pose In Front Of The Bendigo Sign
• Cooinda Park Playspace Officially Renamed “The Park With The Big Slide”
• BREAKING! Croc Spotted In Bendigo Creek
• Reality Of Fatherhood Really Never Hit Home On Man Until He Changed Newborn Son’s First Nappy
• Nosey Nelly’s Take A Stickybeak at Lake Eppalock Spillway
• Locals Believe Building In The Upside Down Could Help Aleviate Housing Crisis
• Your Horoscopes – Week Of October 17, 2022
• Bendigo Art Gallery To Host Dewey Cox Exhibition
• ‘S’ Plates Introduced To Identify Shit Drivers
• Jane Bunn Predicts Bendigo Weather Using The ‘Duvet On, Duvet Off’ System
• Your Horoscopes – Week Of October 3, 2022
• Stray Birthday Balloons Causes Airport Kaos
• Bendigo To Host Scooter Stealing In 2026 Commonwealth Games
• Scientists Successfully Capture the Sound Of An Ant Farting
• Queen Elizabeth Oval Renamed “King Elizabeth Oval”
• Epsom Finally Gets a KFC
• Local Vegan Cafe Sells Grass Clippings As Lemongrass
• Dog Drives Owner Home From Pub After Grand Final Win
• Your Horoscopes – Week Of September 26, 2022
• Shazza Falls In Love With Braxton Doing A Fully Sick Burnout In The Long Gully IGA Car Park
• Long Gully Man Has Hard Time Convincing Friends He Doesn’t Carry Weed
• Vaping Now An Epidemic Among Kindergarteners
• Your Horoscopes – Week Of September 12, 2022
• Local 5-Year-Old’s Drawing Of Mummy Farting Misses Out On Archibald Prize
• Talking Tram Takes A Vow Of Silence
• Cat Sells Dog On Bendigo Buy Swap & Sell
• BREAKING! Keys Missing 3 Days Ago Found On Kitchen Bench
• Bendigo Resident Mildred Hussy Turns 200
• Your Horoscopes – Week Of May 2, 2022
• Rosalind Park Bats Chuffed For The New Batman Movie
• Local Man Believes Everyone Else In Bendigo Drives Like An Idiot
• Your Horoscopes – Week Of February 28, 2022
• Your Horoscopes – Week Of February 21, 2022
• Are You Investing In Crypto?
• ‘Heroes Are NOT Made At Bendigo TAFE’ Says Average Human
• Your Horoscopes – Week Of February 14, 2022
• Locals With ‘The Rona’ To Isolate On Lake Tom Thumb Island
• Local Man Hospitalised After Getting RAT Test Stuck Up His Bum
• Ikea Shopper Would Never Have Bought That Borgeby If She Knew She Had To Assemble It Herself
• Would You Ever Get A Tattoo Using Afterpay?
• Local Hero Finishes The Rifle’s 100 Pint Club. “He’s Only 1 Man” Says Patron
• Your Horoscopes – Week Of February 7, 2022
• Bikes On Buses
• Schools Back! ‘Parenties’ Set To Descend On Bendigo
• Your Horoscopes – Week Of January 31, 2022
• 22 Santas Arrested In Santa Fight Club
• 60 Christmas Conversation Starters
• Rod Fyffe’s Hair Receives Heritage Listing
• Woman Suspects The Neighbour Who Bought A Tesla Is The Mystery OzLotto Winner
• Your Horoscopes – Week Of August 9, 2021
• Bendigo Buses Replace hit91.9 with ABC Classic FM
• Your Horoscopes – Week Of July 26, 2021
• Long Gully Man Completes Flight To Space In A Rocket Bong
• Kid Declares There’s Nothing To Eat While Staring At A Full Fridge
• Bluey Unveiled As Brisbane 2032 Olympics Mascots
• City To Install Musical Toilets In CBD
• Local Mum Who Trained In Daughters Kiddie Pool Is Off To The Olympics
• Your Horoscopes – Week Of July 19, 2021
• Tokyo Olympics’ Outdoor Swimming Venue Smells Like Bendigo Creek
• Kangaroo Flat Residents Demand More Pedestrian Lights Across High Street
• Local Wonders How Many $%&#ing Servos White Hills Needs
• Your Horoscopes – Week Of July 12, 2021
• Eaglehawk Bin Captain Pranks Street By Putting Out Wrong Bins
• Funko Immortalize Cogho In Pop! Vinyl Form
• Local Office Worker Who Doesn’t Carry Cash Told He’s A Year Behind In Casual Dress Donations
• Bendigo TattsLotto Winner Decides To Fix Hargreaves Mall Himself
• Busker Ready To Revive Coles Busking Scene For The Third Time
• Trump Hires Sweaty Law Expert Dennis Denuto
• Bendigo Council Elections A Shambles. America: “Hold My Beer”
• Scottish Vets Neuter Prime Possum
• Church Of Scientology Brings Love To Universal Nightclub
• Mask Horror! Eaglehawk Woman Sets Own Face On Fire Lighting A Durry
• Council Shuts Down 6 Year Old’s Marijuana Stand For Not Having A Permit
• Grown Adult Still Traumatised By Faceless Doll In 90’s Kids Show
• Dan Andrews Reveals Ring Of Steel Is Just A Giant Egg Ring
• No Free Parking? Bendigo Councillors Added To Santa’s Naughty List
• Bendigo Council Elections: Recommended Eppalock Ward Candidates
• Bendigo Council Elections: Recommended Whipstick Ward Candidates
• Bendigo Council Elections: Recommended Lockwood Ward Candidates
• Facemasks Now Mandatory For Statues
• Melbournians Urged to Stay The Fork Away From Bendigo
• Moama Man Drives To Dubbo Dan Murphy’s After Being Denied Entry To Echuca
• Where Do We Wash Now? Ask Kangaroo Flat Residents
• Melbourne Braces For Another Round Of Zoom Meetings
• Fyre Fest Producers To Run For US Presidency
• Bendigo Airport Offers Fake Flights For Sydney-Starved Tourists
• Melbourne Replaces Ballarat As Victoria’s Least Liveable City
• Dome Sweet Dome. Elon Musk To Build Melbourne ‘Cyberdome’
• Dan Andrews Announces Single Loser Friend Can Visit Too
• Most Complicated Hopscotch Ever Produced
• Person Goes To Mickey Mouse Hill For The View
• Anakin Skywalker Declares Coronavirus Is “Not Podracing”
• Father Of Three Asks, “Is It Wednesday?”
• Castlemaine Neither A Castle Nor A Maine
• Despite Lockdown Castlemaine Is As Vibrant As Ever
• COVIDsafe App Not As Fun or Security Flawed As FaceApp
• Cat Fails To Search For Coronavirus Cure
• Man Puts All Bins Out in Hope One of Them is Right
• Y2K Doomsdayer Emerges To Find World Rebuilding
• Close Talker Struggles With 1.5m Rule
• Fashions On The Flu: Are You A The Kelly Gang Member or A Member of The Mouth Mask Mob? Take Our Quiz To Find Out!!
• Australians To Start Taking More Shits At Work
• 5 Toilet Paper Replacements That Work And 5 That Don’t
• Local Man Celebrates Valentines Day By Getting The Bathroom To Himself
• Council To Provide Parking Bays For Dickhead Drivers
• Bendigo TAFE Offers ‘Adulting’ Course
• Dad Refers To Groovin The Moo As ‘Groovin To The Moo’
• Vengabus Added To Bendigo Bus Network
• Marketplace Offers ‘Insensitive’ Santa For Kids On His Naughty List
• Humans of Bendigo #1 – Eleanor McLeod
• Study Finds 100% of Kids Singing Daddy Finger or Baby Shark Song Will Miss Christmas
• Local Man Drowns In His Sleep From His Wife’s Throw Pillows
• Darrell Lea To Release The Taste Of Bendigo
• No Food. Bendigo Cinemas Install Body Scanners
• What Hills? White Hills renamed ‘Flat White’
• Man Wonders If It’s Dad Shorts Weather Yet
• A New Era! The Standy To Be Distributed In Paper Form
• Teen Receives Glass Pipes from Wish.com. Parents Furious
• Couple Named Jett and Bec Reckons They Could Do Home Reno’s After Watching The Block
• Victorian Schools To Trial Zombie Apocalypse Survival Drill
• City Of Greater Bendigo Hires Kenny To Clean Public Toilets
• Kangaroo Flat Man Finally Takes Down Christmas Decorations
• Kennington Reservoir Parkrunner Names Newborn ‘Kenny Res’
• The Muppets live action movie have casted Statler and Waldorf
• Woman Burns Downs House After Spotting Spider
• Local Man Gives Three Thumbs Up To Bendigo’s Smallest Parma
• Bendigo Standard to merge with Bendigo Have Your Say
• Local Man Fired For Putting Communal Sauce In The Fridge
• Napier Street Mineshaft Triggers Fear Of Holes
• Construction Begins On Napier St Mosque
• Maiden Gully Family Books Accommodation For 2020 Easter Festival
• City With Violence Problem Cool With Boxing Match
• NASA to Investigate Stickiness of Tap House Carpet
• Dr Google Joins Bendigo Health
• Bendigo Council Welcomes New Robot Mower Overlords
• Leia Organa Steals Plans To Mosque
• Local Man Discovers You Can’t Get Naked At Get Naked Espresso Bar
• Festival Planned To Celebrate Napier St Upgrade
• Traders Hope ‘Baby Shark’ Song Will Drive The Rest Of Bendigo Away From Mall
• Lamb At Australian Sheep and Wool Show Under Investigation For PEDs
• “Holy Crap The Road’s Finished!” Locals Call For Public Holiday
• Donald Trump Meets Macho Man Randy Savage
• Megan Claims Religious Freedom For Not Cleaning Staffroom Dishes On Her Rostered Day
• “Babyccino’s Are Gateway to Caffeine Addiction” Says Local Mum
• News Flash: Clogs Doesn’t Sell Wooden Shoes
• Channel 10 Begins Filming I’m From Bong Gully… Get Me Out Of Here ya ****!
• Is Buddy Giving Two Up Yours or Two Thumbs Up? You Be The Judge
• Bendigo To Host Australia’s First Frozen Meal Expo
• Remains Of George Lansell Discovered On Napier Street Upgrade
• Tramspotting Screening at the Star Cinema
• 5 Places In Bendigo To Fart Without People Knowing It Was You
• Great Scott! Rod Fyffe Cast As Doc Brown In Upcoming Back To The Future Remake
• Council Commits $50m for ‘Rough Surface – Slow Down’ Signs
• Active Living Census Makes Everyone Feel Fat
• Viewpoint Residents Wonder Why Their Central Park Looks Nothing Like New York’s
• Helicopter Flying Over Bendigo Identified As The Bendigo Have Your Say Flying F***
• Local Man Records Sound Of Fart
• Trolley Bay Ruins Man’s Day
• Kangaroo Flat Man Has Zero Idea About Napier St Roadworks
• Divine Intervention Sought For Napier St Roadworks
• BREAKING: Council To Repair Roads That Actually Don’t Needed Fixing
• Napier St Upgrade Documentary “What The F**k Is Taking So Long?” Coming To Netflix
• 10 Bendigo Public Toilets Reviewed. Number 2 Will Surprise You
• Notre Dame To Be Completed Before Napier St Upgrade
• WA expat discovers Emu Export at Dan Murphy’s
• Liberal Party’s Sam Gayed to play the Invisible Man in movie reboot
• Pizza Shop Refuses To Deliver To House On Napier St Upgrade
• Healthy Harold To Run In Bendigo Federal Election
• Feuding bell-ringers decide to pull together
• Bendigo Have Your Say Wins Nobel Peace Prize
• Bendigo Powerball Winner Buys Long Gully
• Local Man Sues Hundreds-and-Thousands Believing Only 274 Exist
• Groovin the Moo: Pill Tester Has Big Day On The Job
• Unvaccinated Banned From Groovin The Moo
• Groovin The Moo: Old Man Tries to Look Cool Wearing Stupid Red Hat
• Hawthorn Announces New Mascots
• Local Who Couldn’t Get Tickets To Groovin The Moo Not Impressed With Line Up
• 20 Things To Do After Groovin The Moo
• ‘Long live the King’. Local woman can’t wait to see Mufasa die in live Lion King remake
• EPA Issues Warning On Using Public Toilets In The CBD
• Groundbreaking Surgery Removes Clingy Girlfriend From Boyfriend
• Bendigo Toe Tickler released on parole
• Parking Cost Increase. New Parking Meters To Accept Internal Organs
• Avid Parade Watchers Use Giant Tent As A Parade Save Spot
• Bendigo Easter Dragons “Unrealistic” Claims Local Game Of Thrones Expert
• Black Hole To Become Bendigo’s Newest Landfill
• The Real Housewives Of Strathfieldsaye Begins Filming
• Organisation accused of sexism, corruption, malpractice and theft distances itself from Israel Folau
• Local man gives up being ‘That Guy’ on Bendigo Have Your Say for Lent
• Couple Names First Child Bong Gully
• Bendigo Mother Asks Son To Netflix And Chill
• Huntly Man Brags About Never Seeing Game Of Thrones
• Bendigo Reminded To Wind Clocks Forward As Daylight Savings Ends
• “Long Gully’s Not That Bad” says person who lives there
• Kid in the mall says he got 6th degree black belt from watching John Wick 3 trailer
• First passenger on Qantas flight to Sydney didn’t actually need to go anywhere
• Local man surprises workmates with his incredible weather predicting skills
• Cat Awakens From 2004 Christmas Food Coma
• Local Man creates Bendigo Have Your Say app
• Council sells Bendigo creek bluestones to build Trump’s border wall
• Local unsure if ‘Bendigo Lifts 4 Cash’ is for drug deals or booty calls
• Locals call for larger portions at Lazy Moe’s
• Bendigo Tourism Sells Out Of Genuine Bendigo Creek Scented Candles In 30 Minutes
• Local Man Stuck On Napier St Upgrade For 3 Weeks Survives On Macca’s Sauce Packets
• Scott Cam Offers To Complete Napier Street Upgrade Pro Bono
• Local Clown Cheers Sick Children By Not Visiting Hospital
• Magic: The Gathering Player Suspended After Failing Drugs Test
• Elderly Local Man Saves $1 On Fuel A Year By Rounding Down
• Local Influencers Apply For Centrelink After Instagram Goes Down
• Bendigo Airport To Utilise Pall Mall As Emergency Landing Strip
• Married At First Sight Fans Ineligible To Vote In Next Council Election
• Teachers Reveal: Burst Pipe On Napier St Upgrade Was Just An Excuse To Get A 4 Day Weekend
• Your Horoscopes – Week Of March 11, 2019
• Bendigo Council Unveils New Napier St Fountain After Pipe Bursts
• Marie Kondo Brings ‘Spark Joy’ To Napier Street Upgrade
• Survey Results: 1 in 500 Don’t Believe Ironbark Exists
• Rental Crisis: Bendigo Council Puts Lake Weeroona Playground On Airbnb
• Your Horoscopes – Week Of March 4, 2019
• Runaway Bull Mauls 60 During Night On The Town
• Local Woman Discovers She Can Leave Bendigo Have Your Say Anytime She Wants
• Right Up Your Alley: S#!*ty Bowling Launches In Bendigo
• BSSC Student Wins Top Prize For Hangover Cure
• Eaglehawk Scooter Rider Refuses To Acknowledge ‘Cool’ Skateboard Dad
• Roast Chicken Too Big To Fit In Organics Bin
• “I’m Cool With The Napier Street Road Works” Says The Only Person In Bendigo
• Your Horoscope – Week Of February 18, 2019
• Local Man Gets Life Advice From A Maccas French Fry Giving A Thumbs Up
• Record January Temperatures Cause Sharp Spike in Bad Valentines Cards
• Lamington Drive To Fund The Completion Of The Murphy Street Roundabout
• Chinese Dragons To Be Sewn Together Into A ‘Dragon Centipede’ For Easter Festival
• 82-Year-Old Lost On School Excursion Emerges From Mine After 67 Years
• Australia Has Decided! Fat Cat And Patsy Biscoe To Represent Australia In Eurovision
• Studies Show First-Born’s Are Better Drivers Than Their Younger Siblings
• Kangaroo Sets Sights On Anthony Mundine After Enrolling In Boxing Class
• Overly Excited Local Man Won’t Shut Up About His Weber
• Chicken Salt Dealers Arrested in Strathdale
• Local Loses 85 kgs On A Bendigo Original Pie Shop Diet
• Rod Fyffe’s Southern Cross Tattoo Unveiled At Golden Square Pool
• Local Man’s Saturday Night Out, Dependant On Selling The Drone He Got For Christmas
• Woman Rushed To Emergency After Getting Cheezels Stuck On Fingers
• Local Family Outraged After Discovering Only Yellow Zooper Doopers Are Left
• Eaglehawk Theatre Company to Present: Twelfth Night on the Piss
• Bendigo Council Accidentally Raises NZ Flag
• Powercor Apologises for Swamp Ass
• Man Who Counts Sheep For A Living Falls Asleep on the Job
• Crikey! Coles Launches Vegemite Hot Cross Buns For Australia Day
• KFC Vegan to Open in Castlemaine
• Bendigo’s Oldest Cat Dies at 25 – That’s 117 In Cat Years!
• Woman Burns House Down After Discovering Spider In The Kitchen
• Prince Philip Driving School Closes Doors After 1 Day
• Local Man Sick Of Wife Telling Him Where To Poo
• Prince Philip Driving School Opens In Bendigo
• Local Man’s Day Ruined After Frozen Coke Machine Breaks Down
• Remains Of A Reverse Centaur Found At Lake Neangar
• Bendigo Mallrats Arrested For Being Polite
• The Photocopier Whisperer
• Bendigo Health Takes Part In The 10-Year Challenge
• Pizza ATM Opens At Latrobe Uni
• Bendigo Police Warn Dog Against Leaving Owner In Hot Car
• BREAKING! Bendigo old Lady displays excellent driving skills
• Free Parking! Hasbro Releases Limited Edition Monopoly Bendigo
• Bendigo Is Horny For Roadworks
• Bendigo Trolley Pusher Breaks World Record
• President of Work Social Club Impeached Minutes After Being Elected
• Your Horoscope – Week Of January 14, 2019
• L Plater Drives Car Into Lake Weeroona Doing Bird Box Challenge
• Local Cows Respond By Cooking Deconstructed Human Sausages
• Bunnings To Put The Bizzle In Deconstructed Sausage Sizzles
• Cashier Accidentally Serves Own Mum Buying Condoms
• Expecto Patronum! Sacred Heart Cathedral To Be Transformed Into Hogwarts
• Krispy Kreme Brings Signature Glaze To Bendigo
• Lazy Moe’s To Offer Naked Dining Experience
• Bendigo Have Your Say’s Anthony Butler To Star On I’m A Celebrity…
• Summernats Burnout King Is Eaglehawk Citizen Of The Year
• Castlemaine Paint Vandal Revealed As Banksy
• Local Man Angry Santa Didn’t Deliver Torque Wrench With Bike
• Local Boy Kidsplains To Dad How To Play Fortnite
• Eaglehawk Theatre Company Presents ‘Carrie’
• Mum Jeans Store Opens In Bendigo
• Your Horoscope – Week Of January 6, 2019
• Lynx Releases Smell Of Bendigo Creek
• Elephant At Melbourne Zoo Diagnosed With Peanut Allergy
• 20 People Injured From Leaning On Shovels At Napier St Roadworks Working Bee
• Muzak In Hargreaves Mall To Be Replaced With Ear Splitting Squelch Of A Frightened Pig
• Reminding People It’s Hot Will Cost You Under Tough New VIctorian laws
• 125 Year Old Woman Says Avoiding ‘Bendigo Have Your Say’ Is The Secret To A Long And Healthy Life
• Kangaroo Flat Man Plans Extra Shits After Buying Tower Of Toilets At Aldi
• Monster Redfin Spotted At Lake Eppalock
• VicRoads Asks Public To Finish The Napier St Roadworks
• Carlton Currently Undefeated In 2019
• Alien Space Monkey Pirates Attack Bendigo
• Our Guide On What To Do This New Year’s Eve
• Top Ten Places To Vomit In Bendigo
• Kangaroo Flat To Get A New Wave Pool
• Man ln Intensive Care After Refusing To Stop Saying ‘Nice Garry’ At The MCG
• Apocalypse Hits Bendigo
• Dad Barely Survives Horror Day At The Boxing Day Sales
• VCE Dux Blows Off Law Degree To Become A Full Time YouTuber
• Person Asking “Can I Help?” Secretly Doesn’t Want To Help At All
• Dad Not Looking Forward To Sitting At The Kids Table At The Family Christmas Lunch
• Long Gully Lights To Be Used For Qantas Approach Landing System
• Woman Looses Hair Tie. Keeps Partying. YOLO.
• Karl Stefanovic Announced As The New Host Of ‘Good Morning Bendigo’
• The Bendigo Standard Is Now Digitally Halal Certified
• Exclusive: Leprechauns Say Rainbows Don’t Taste Like Skittles
• New Survey Results Reveal Bendigonians Were Conceived On Mickey Mouse Hill
• Wife Divorces Husband After He Won’t Stop Farting In Bed
• Your Horoscope – Week Of December 17, 2018
• Possessed Pothole In Napier St Roadworks Swallows Man’s Car
• Bouncy Castle At Christmas Church Picnic Blows Away With 8 People Inside
• Local Man Robbed Of Single Use Bags From His Home
• 12 Year Old Boy Finally Shaves Movember Moustache Off
• Man Goes Camping, Hopes World Is Destroyed While Away
• Boss Hints He Has Too Many Coffee Mugs To Potential Secret Santa
• Santa To Get Police Escort Through Long Gully
• Teacher At Christian School Fired For Refusing To Say Merry Christmas
• Bendigo Brave American Import Scores On The Court And At Star Bar
• Shopping Trolleys Form Conga Line To Escape Supermarket
• Flights To Bendigo Cheaper Than A Bondi Beach Car Park
• First Person To Book Flight From Bendigo To Sydney Celebrates With Amelia Earhart Tattoo
• Woman Who Missed Out On $1.50 McFlurry Wonders What’s The Point Of Living Anymore
• Your Horoscope – Week Of December 10, 2018
• V/line Trains To Be Replaced With Elmore Miniature Railway Trains During Heat Restrictions
• ALERT: Bendigo Quarantined Inside A Giant Dome After Man Flu Outbreak
• Fat Shaming Knickers the Cow Raises Steaks
• Ballarat Santa’s Confess They Hate Your Kids
• “Napier Street Road Works Are God’s Punishment For Allowing The Mosque” Says Local Woman
• Your Horoscope – Week Of December 3, 2018
• Santa Financially Stricken
• Riot Squad Called After A Red Cordial Party Gets Out Of Hand
• Bendigo Mourns Abandoned Couch
• McDonald’s To Kill Off The McFlurry
• World’s First Butthole Transplant A Success After Man Eats 50 KFC Wicked Wings
• Local Man Can’t Wait To Rock Out To Mariah Carey’s All I Want For Christmas
• Local Man Gets Beard Caught In Marketplace Travelator
• Your Horoscope – Week Of November 26, 2018
• Locals Fail To Vote After Getting Stuck In Napier St Road Works Traffic Jam
• Amish Rights Activists Blamed For Power Outages
• City Sends Well Wishes To Woman Quitting Facebook
• Families To Embrace A Vegan Christmas After Chicken Truck Embraces Bridge
• Local Man Ditches Mates To Watch Tim Cahill’s Last Game On A Superior Screen
• Local Man Donates Human Liver To Pig
• Local Man Unable to Return Movies To Roundabout Video
• Tuckerbag To Join The Push For Golden Square Mega Market
• Your Horoscope – Week Of November 19, 2018
• Eaglehawk Reebok’s Officially Released
• Local Swingers Misinterpret Bendigo Swap Meet
• Local Man Celebrates 40th Swap Meet But Still Knows Bugger All About Cars
• Evil Genius Captures Giant Heart in Bendigo And Ties It To The Ground For Ransom
• Woman At Work Accidentally Selects Herself As Secret Santa
• BREAKING: Giggle & Hoot Cancelled. Hoot The Owl’s Dark Past Revealed
• Epsom Road Works Joins Great Wall of China As Only Man Made Structure Visible From The Moon
• TAFE To Offer Course On How To Eat A Bunnings Snag
• Eaglehawk Town Hall To Be Demolished For A Costco
• Rod Fyffe’s Hair To Serve As Mayor
• Long Gully Rapper Learns He Ain’t As Cool As He Thought He Was
• 29 Year Old Potter Fan Still Waiting For Letter From Hogwarts
• Kangaroo Flat Bus Evacuated After Woman Farts
• Local Apprentice Questions Naming of Blues And Roots Festival
• Your Horoscope – Week Of November 12, 2018
• Ballarat To Merge With Bendigo
• Blues & Roots Festival Not As Sad or Sexy As Name Suggests
• Struggle To Sell Creepy Bookends
• Crisis As Hair Tie Found On Ground
• Bendigo Oh-God-Why-Am-I-Doing-This Run Takes Place
• Parents Told They Are Adopted
• Local Sign Misunderstands the Meaning of the Word Hour
• Local man Baffled by Point of Signs along Roadside.
• Pinch And Punch For First Day Of The Month Ends In Bloody Mess
• Carpet Bizarre Store still going out of Business Baffles Scientists
• Pantomime Horse Wins Bendigo Cup AND Fashions On The Field
• The Bendigo Cup Form Guide
• Local Man Gets Arm Replaced With Claw Machine Claw
• Young Girl Trapped Inside Cage to Celebrate the Coming of Summer
• Exclusive: Number 42 Identified As King Of The Bins
• Exam Advice From the Bendigo Standard
• Poo Evacuates New Kangaroo Flat Pool
• Melbourne Has Trams Now Too
• Victoria’s First Heroin Parlour to Open in Bendigo
• Crate Man Announced As The Next Bachelor
• La Trobe Uni Student’s Study Habit Borders On The Insane
• New Eaglehawk Children’s Playground Has One Major Drawback
• The Movie Twins Is Being Remade Using An Emu And A Kiwi Bird
• Tree Change People Mostly Worried About Zombies
• Bendigo Decides God is Vengeful
• Eaglehawk Resident Doesn’t Care For Other Grand Final
• Kangaroo Flat Woman Brags About Not Using Gym Membership
• Epsom Woman Believes Can of Coke Tastes Better Than Bottle of Coke
• School Girl Wishes Magpies Would Swoop Teacher
• Ironbark Definitely a Place, says “Ironbark” Resident
• Top 5 Free Carparks Around Bendigo CBD. Number Four Will Amaze You
• Scoop: It’s Not Actually Called Lansell Plaza Anymore
• Bendigo Council to dig up mall again for no good reason
• Old Man Still Hates Doing 50km/h
• Bendigo Discovers Cocaine Was Just on Their Door Step
• Castlemaine Rock Found in Epsom
• White Night Not As Popular As White Knights
• Local Woman Thought Adult Book Week Was A Thing
• K-mart Overtakes Post Office as Local Point of Reference
• Man Jumps on Richmond Bandwagon As They’re Not As Crap Now
• World Heritage Listing Considered For Bendigo’s Telstra Phone Booth
• Bendigo On the Slops Kicks Off
• Beer Wankers Replace Wine Wankers as Most Annoying Wankers
• Local Man Buys Mop From Bunnings To Clean Up Lib Spill
• Crate Man to Challenge for the Leader of Australia
• Local Teen Gets Coles Mini’s Stuck In His Butt
• Bendigo Bank Still Better Than Bank of Melbourne
• Strathfieldsaye Man Convinced Blood Donations Go Straight to Vampires
• Your Horoscope – Week Of August 20, 2018
• Meteorologist Suggests The Weather Needs To Sort It’s Crap Out
• Jimmy Barnes Plays Goldmines Hotel
• Local Man Angry There’s No Bunnings In Eaglehawk
• Bendigo’s first pro lotto player
• Less Spew Outside Elmore Memorial Hall Than Expected
• Long Gully Publican Calls Last Drinks After 1 Day
• Your Horoscope – Week Of August 6, 2018
• Your Horoscope – Week Of July 30, 2018
• TV Reporter Visibly Sick at Having to Talk About Donald Trump
• Man Finds Way To Eat Banana In A Non-Sexy Way
• Bendigo Man Eats Own Head
• Hipster Crushed To Death By Own Man Bun
• Your Horoscope – Week Of July 24, 2017
• Bendigo Standard Investigates the Eye Thingy Fake News Stuff
• Storm Shakes Bendigo Man’s House and Makes Him Wish He Bought a More Expensive House
• Your Horoscope – Week Of July 17, 2017
• Bendigo To Host John-Jacob Jingleheimer-Schmidt Convention
• Bendigo Man Finishes Everything On Netflix
• Moron Gets Stuck In House Of Mirrors
• Self-employed Woman Gets Herself In Her Office Secret Santa
• Newspaper Clarifies Skateboarders Are Not Actually Spewing
• Star struck lovers, you’ll never believe their amazing story!
• Even Shit Babies Proven To Be Cute
• Zaphod Beeblebrox Campaigns for American Presidency
• Bendigo Sads ‘n’ Orgies Festival Considers Name Change
• Quarry hill Man Ineexplicably Popular On Tinder
• Man Tells Yo Mamma Jokes For No Apparent Reason
• Woman Dissuades Couple From Buying a Chicken in Golden Square
• “Concern for the future” Bendigo – Back In My Day Association
• Dog Dresses as Cat for a Birthday
• Mature Age Student Excited By Lozenge in Gift Bag
• Man Confuses Pokemon Go for Tinder
• Bendigo Orienteering Squad Aiming for Gold
• From the Archives: Marriage Equality Complaint Letter
• Scientists Prove Running on a Treadmill Doesn’t Make You Go Anywhere
• What’s Next For Marilyn?
• G’rilled Serving Mesculin Confuses Man Seeking Mescaline
• Benexit Campaign Officially Launched
• Teenager At Shamrock Hotel Talks About Elephant in Room
• 3 Injured In Lightsaber and Nunchuck Fight
• Barista or Soccer Player?
• Golden Square Man Looks For Positives in Girlfriend Moving In With Him
• Milk Prices Set to Soar: Industry Insider Says
• Marilyn Monroe Statue To Be Replaced With Rod Fyffe
• Actual Halloween Goes Past Unnoticed
• Beards of Bendigo
• Supermarket’s New Milk Pricing Policy Sent to Encourage Consumers to Shoot the Baby Themselves
• Young Indian Children Found Working in Bendigo Mine
• New Artisan Restaurant to Open in Bendigo
• Bendigo Winemakers Festival Aims to Avoid Beer Wankers
• Big Green Thing Goes Missing.
• Top Tips for an Alternative Groovin the Moo
• Ex-Bendigo mayor Peter Cox apologises for Depp and Heard Video
• Melbourne Man Gives Lecture in Bendigo on How to Make a Proper Coffee
• Secret Revealed: Bendigo Founded on Fools Gold
• UPF: “We Hate Puppies and Kittens”
• New Non-deadly creature found in Bendigo
• Long Gully P-Plater Caught Doing Speed Limit
• “More Twisted Than A Topknot” – Pho’lis
• Hipster Rally: not in my town say locals
• Hipsters March for Peace
• Giant Marilyn Monroe Statue to be Replaced by Giant Ice Addict
• Rod Fyffe’s Hair Revealed to be Made of Noodles
• Live 10 – The Sound Of Music
• First Bendigonian Travels To Sun At Night
• Iron Jock Title 2016