In a stunning revelation that has shaken the festive world to its snowy core, an exclusive interview with the man behind the myth, Santa Claus, has exposed the shocking truth—he’s just Claude with excellent PR.
Claude, known by many as the unofficial Bendigo Jesus, has been moonlighting as the jolly man in red for centuries. When questioned about his dual identity, Claude shrugged and said, “Well, it’s a tough gig being the jolly guy. I gotta pay the bills somehow, right?”
This reporter uncovered that Santa’s magical workshop is nothing more than a side hustle in Claude’s garage, where he tinkers with toys and wraps them in newspaper. The flying reindeer? Just a couple of unusually large pigeons he’s trained to take flight on command.
“It’s all smoke and mirrors, really,” Santa Claude confessed with a twinkle in his eye. “I figured, why not spread the joy and gifts under a more marketable name? Ho, ho, ho—it’s just good branding!”
As Bendigo residents come to terms with the revelation, one thing is sure: Claude might be the best PR genius the holiday season has ever seen.
