Kim Jingleton from Strathfieldsaye has achieved the unthinkable: spending a jaw-dropping $10,000 on gifts and miraculously putting the “Christ” back into Christmas.
Friends and family are reportedly in awe of Ms Jingleton’s divine ability to single-handedly resurrect the season’s true spirit by maxing out her credit cards on a bunch of crap no one needs. Sources close to Kim say she felt a higher calling to stimulate the economy while restoring religious significance to the annual shopping spree.
“My cats told me they needed a new Gucci collar,” Ms Jingleton told The Bendigo Standard. “If Jesus had a cat and a credit card, he would’ve done that.”
Her friends and family, when interviewed, expressed gratitude for Kate’s selfless act of generosity, with one family member admitting, “I never knew the true meaning of Christmas until I unwrapped that limited-edition, diamond-studded toaster. Praise be.”
“It’s truly inspiring to see someone take consumerism to new spiritual heights,” remarked a neighbour, rolling their eyes so far back it appeared they might need divine intervention.
Kim has mastered the art of turning frivolous spending into a heavenly gesture, proving that you can buy your way into holiday righteousness once and for all.