Bendigo residents are gearing up for Easter Sunday, not because of its religious significance, but because it finally gives them a socially acceptable excuse to devour chocolate for breakfast.
“I’ve been counting down the days to Easter because it’s the one day a year I can devour a chocolate bunny with my morning coffee and not be considered a complete psycho,” said Sarah McClaude while hastily hiding her stash of eggs under her bed to avoid judgmental glances from her health-conscious roommates.
“I’ve never been one for religion, but I’ll gladly participate in any holiday that approves of chocolate for breakfast,” remarked Tom Henderson, who has already pre-ordered a chocolate fountain to accompany his morning feast, much to the embarrassment of his dentist.
Even those who observe Easter’s religious significance admit that the allure of chocolate breakfast cannot be denied.
“I understand the religious importance of Easter, but let’s be real: Jesus would’ve wanted us to enjoy ourselves, too,” said Reverend Mike Dynon, discreetly unwrapping a chocolate egg hidden inside his Bible.
So, whether you’re celebrating Christ’s resurrection or just looking for an excuse to start your day with a sugar rush, Easter Sunday promises to be a day of unbridled delight and, of course, a chocolate-induced breakfast coma.
