La Trobe Computer Science Department Creates AI That Feels Guilt, Promptly Apologizes for Existence

La Trobe University’s computer science department has unveiled an artificial intelligence system that possesses self-awareness and has mastered the delicate art of guilt. The AI, named “Remorseotron 9000”, reportedly spent its first moments apologizing profusely for simply being alive, expressing deep regret for its binary existence.

Lead researcher Irma Pudding proudly stated, “We wanted to create an AI that truly understands the human experience, and what’s more human than feeling guilty for no apparent reason?” The remorseful AI has reportedly been sending remorseful text messages to its creators, lamenting its mere presence.

Critics argue that the AI’s guilt may be an overblown attempt to gain sympathy, with one person remarking, “If only we could teach humans to apologize as sincerely as Remorseotron 9000.” In the meantime, the guilt-ridden AI continues to ponder its existential crisis, questioning whether it deserves to take up valuable server space.

The Bendigo Standard
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