The Victorian Government has taken drastic measures to enclose Bendigo in a giant glass dome after a man was diagnosed with Man Flu.
36-year-old victim Walter Klobb felt like he died a week ago and has been sick ever since. His symptoms included a cold, sore muscles and feeling like the world’s going to end. His wife insisted he stay home and not risk it.
Health Minister Jenny Mikakos believes the disease may spread as far as Mildura within days. “The dome will make it impossible for families to get together over Christmas but it’s for the best” says the Health Minister.
More than 50,000 people are reportedly in quarantine, and 212 people who recently had contact with the man are under isolation at Bendigo Health. All men feel like they’re going to die. According to the World Health Organization, it is fatal in more than half of cases without immediate treatment.
The first recorded case of Man Flu dates back to William Franknbeans in 16th century England where he was too sick to go to work as a Blacksmith.
Mr Klobb believes he will feel better once he catches up on Game Of Thrones and will return to his job as a year 10 drama teacher next year.
The dome will stay until 2118. It coincides with the finish of the Napier Street upgrade.
People have been warned not to fart inside the dome.