Food Left In School Bag Over The Christmas Holidays Creates New Colony

School is back this week, but not all news is good for one parent.

The mother of a 13-year-old boy has discovered a colony of mould after her son failed to clean out his school bag last December.

“The contents of the rotten bag had somehow mutated into an advanced civilization.” Sue Lacky, mother of 2 from Eaglehawk, said. “Not only does the mould colony have its own fully functioning utopia, but I saw a Bunnings”.

Mrs Lacky was unsure what type of sandwich was left in the bag. A fruit formally known as an apple or peach was also discovered, and the CSIRO took away the mystery fruit for testing.

A spokesperson for the CSIRO said, “I’ve never seen anything like this. We believe we’ve uncovered a new fruit species: a hybrid apple, peach and kiwi fruit we’re calling an ‘apeiwi’. The only identifiable characteristic is the wrinkly skin and fur.”

A vintage black banana or zucchini was also recovered underneath an unfinished assignment. It was mixed in with crushed Arnott’s biscuits and dried Red Bull.

Her son said, “I thought I cleaned my bag, Geez mum. Get over it, ya boomer.”

The EPA has deemed the boy’s room a bio-hazard.

The bag has been handed to Bendigo Art Gallery for their new ‘Old Bags of Bendigo’ exhibit.

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