Creek Street Christian College has pledged to dial back the Jesus talk, promising students a breather from divine lectures and heavenly discussions. The school, known for its water-into-wine chemistry experiments, aims to shift towards a more secular curriculum.
A school representative said, “From now on, our morning prayers will be replaced with a guided meditation on existential dread, and instead of biblical studies, students will enjoy an exciting new class on the history of TikTok dances.”
The school plans to remove the dove from its logo, replacing it with a magpie as, according to staff, Jesus was a Collingwood supporter. The cafeteria will now offer a daily special called “The Holy Moly Guacamole Wrap,” promising a heavenly taste that even tuck shop mums claim is a miracle.
On an unrelated note, the church’s bingo night has seen a sudden surge in attendance. Praise the numbers!