Local Prep Grader Declares Early Retirement, Demands Golden Watch and Pension After Exhausting First Week of School

Little Timmy Thompson has officially declared himself “done” after just one week of prep grade. Sources close to the situation report that Timmy has submitted a formal letter of resignation, demanding a golden watch, pension plan, and a lifetime supply of juice boxes.

The 5-year-old prodigy claims his energy levels have been mercilessly drained by the gruelling schedule of little play and big play and attempting to master the intricate art of tying his shoelaces. When asked about his future plans, Timmy confidently stated, “I’m exploring retirement communities with top-notch playgrounds and nap pods. I’ve earned it.”

When asked for comment, Timmy simply replied, “Nap time is for rookies. I’ve been carrying the weight of my backpack all week; it’s practically a backpack marathon. I need my R&R – Rest and Recess, that is.” Looks like the pint-sized overachiever is already mastering the art of negotiation.

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