In what was initially hailed as a groundbreaking scientific achievement, local inventor and part-time barista Derek Sprocket shocked the world when he successfully built a time machine in his backyard shed. However, his excitement quickly turned to despair as he travelled to the future, only to discover his HECS debt had not been erased.
“I was expecting to see flying cars and robots ruling the world, but all I got was a letter from the government demanding my HECS payment!” Derek told The Bendigo Standard. “I thought future me would have figured it out and paid it off by now!”
While time travel experts have yet to comprehend the consequences of Derek’s discovery fully, they confirm that the government’s insidious ability to track down debtors transcends space and time.
“It appears that HECS debt is the one constant in the universe,” said Dr Smith, a temporal physicist who reluctantly took time away from saving the world from paradoxes to comment on the situation. “No matter when or where you go, it’s always there, like a pesky interdimensional mosquito.”
As Derek contemplates the cruel irony of inventing time travel only to be shackled by debt, he’s not giving up hope. “Maybe I’ll travel further into the future and see if I ever get to retire,” he said, “or at least find out if they’ve developed time-travelling debt collectors!”
More to come.
