Megan Claims Religious Freedom For Not Cleaning Staffroom Dishes On Her Rostered Day

“She’s always doing it,” said co-worker Camille Angove. “Farts at her desk, says religious freedom. Cuts her nails while photocopying, says religious freedom. Dribbles tuna juice all over the floor, says religious freedom. Now she’s not doing the dishes. What kind of religion says it’s ok to not do the dishes? Have a look at yourself Megan.”

Despite objections from fellow employees and the overall stench of tuna, Megan Stark (not her real name) is standing firm on her religious beliefs.

“My faith in not doing any dishes is important to me, and I fight for every Australian’s right to do zero cleaning and ignore all roster sheets, as they are the work of Satan,” said Mrs Stark.

Ms Angove resents being referred to as Satan, but she has greater concerns for other staff members.

“Everytime Megan sees Duncan, the delivery guy, she calls him Drunkman, because he used to have alcohol dependent depression, and I tell her not to but she says it’s her freedom of speech. Like, what is wrong with people. At some point someone’s got to call it out for what it is. We’ve got to draw a line in the sand somewhere. She’s being a total b-iarch.”

While reluctant to fire Megan in the past, as she is the leading salesperson, her manager is having second thoughts.

“Apart from creating a hostile workplace we’re now losing customers because of Megan,” said department head Graham Clop. “And that makes business tough. It was never easy, but people just aren’t buying crochet patterns like they used to.”

The Bendigo Standard has also found that Mrs Stark has started a GoFundMe page to help pay for a recent parking fine for staying in a handicap zone, citing it is her religious freedom to park wherever she wants and her freedom of speech for calling the parking officer and f&%4ing f^$#*t with r#%@$ children and she says this is all political correctness gone mad.

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