Chad Broseidon has decided to redirect his fitness goals from pursuing the elusive beach body to a more attainable objective: the coveted “Eppalock Body.” Broseidon, known for his tireless dedication to crunches and protein shakes, announced his decision to shift focus, citing the allure of family barbecues and dad bods.
His new workout routine reportedly includes intense paddleboarding sessions, water aerobics, and relaxing on an inflatable hotdog.
“I’ve spent years sweating it out at the gym, striving for those chiselled abs and biceps,” Broseidon explained, wiping a tear of protein powder. “But then I had an epiphany – why work on a beach body when I could be the epitome of an Eppalock body? Complete with a BBQ, dad bod, and beer.”
“He used to drag me to the gym at the crack of dawn,” said Sheila, his missus. “Now he’s dragging me out to Eppalock with a cooler full of sausages.”
Broseidon mused. “Sure, a six-pack is great, but have you ever seen someone effortlessly flip burgers with a smile on their face? It’s hard work.”
Local BBQ enthusiasts have also expressed their approval of Broseidon’s decision, with one avid grillmaster saying, “It’s a lifestyle, and Broseidon is living his best Lake Eppalock life.”
