Epsom Woman Believes Can of Coke Tastes Better Than Bottle of Coke

“It’s all about the fung shui of the vessel,” said Megan Fox, 32, Epsom.

As though the glug of a fizzy drink, best known for its use as a stain remover, and not just any stains, like motor oil and deep curry marks, seriously, people ingest this and mix it with their stomach acids, and I’m willing to bet the stomach acids don’t know what to do. Imagine if you’re the big cheese in town, breaking down meats and veggies, and then cola comes along with its ability to break down carbon. The stomach acids are just going to take a break and say, “Over to you, big guy.”


“So we did it all in the name of science,” sad Miss Fox… probably meant to write “said Miss Fox” but it is sad, isn’t it?

“So what we did was get two litres of Bacardi and the Gilmore Girls movie, and just had a night in,” sad Miss Fox.

So what Miss Fox did with her friends was mix a can of cola with Bacardi, a bottle of cola with Bacardi, and have shots of Bacardi as a “control”, while arguing if Rory and Logan ever get married.

“And you know what? They got to. I mean they are so good together.”

But on the experiment?

“Oh yeah! Totally the can of coke. It was just fresher. The blocking of sunlight provided by the aluminium can protects the cola molecules of being broken down by sunlight. It keeps the thin chain molecules in tact, and thus preserves the flavour better. That’s also why milk from a carton is better than a plastic bottle.”

So there you have it. Rory and Logan probably do get married.

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