Local Man Drowns In His Sleep From His Wife’s Throw Pillows

Marong man Gavin McGronk died in his sleep last night after drowning in his wife’s collection of throw pillows.

Emergency services are still trying to find the man.

Witnesses believe the number of throw pillows on the bed at the time was in the low 200’s.

“It’s not my fault I have so many pillows,” His widow Sharon said, “Marie Kondo tells you to keep things that spark joy.”

Friends and relatives agree that Sharon has way too many pillows around the house. “It’s a bit excessive. You can’t even sit down on their couch without feeling like your in the foam pit at Jumpz.”

“The thirty throw pillows on my couch are functional for times when I’m cozying to watch television. Those pillows on my bed have no function. But they sure do give me joy when I look at how perfect they match the gorgeous quilt my great, great, great grandmother-in-law made for our wedding.”

A memorial service at Pillow Talk is to be held next week.

The Bendigo Standard
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