Active Living Census Makes Everyone Feel Fat

The Active Living Census is on again. Bendigo residents have been reminded about all the weight they’ve gained in the past 12 months.

Not to be confused with last years failed Inactive Living Census, this survey will provide even greater insight into the health and wellbeing needs and preferences across our communities.

“They want to know how much I exercise I do but isn’t that just fat shaming?” said Eaglehawkian Jack Francis. Last year he was rushed to the hospital after losing his breath trying to put on his shoes.

A council spokesperson said, “Our region currently has high levels of people binge-watching House Hunters, people who can’t be stuffed and hurting yourself when sneezing, which could be prevented by living a healthier lifestyle.”

“I’ve put on 10 kg’s since Easter and have no idea why” White Hills resident Garry Gully said. “I was gonna take up bike riding but I’m too busy catching up on Game Of Thrones and finishing this bag of chicken Twisties and chocolate Big M.”

The Active Living Census has come a long way. In 2012 The Guinness Book of Records recognised Bendigo as Australia’s fattest city. Ironically this was predicted in a Simpsons episode 10 years earlier. The results stunned the Bendigo Council who quickly put in new bike tracks.

Bendigonians have a chance to win a new 75″ TV simply by completing the survey.

Barry Bob from Kangaroo Flat said, “When I finish the Census I’m going to reward myself with some Maccas.”

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