The highly anticipated Groovin The Moo festival has been unceremoniously cancelled, leaving locals with no choice but to go back to pretending they have diverse music tastes.
The annual event promised a day of live music and an opportunity for Bendigo’s hipster population to showcase their carefully curated Spotify playlists. It was called off due to unforeseen circumstances, possibly involving a cow-related incident.
“It’s a tragedy. I had already planned my outfit to look like I just rolled out of bed, but in a fashionable way,” lamented resident Zoe Urbanite, sipping her artisanal soy latte. “Now, I’ll have to find another occasion to dust off my vintage band t-shirts and pretend I’m into obscure indie bands.”
Despite the disappointment, the cancellation has allowed Bendigo residents to explore other hobbies, such as discovering if there’s life beyond Instagram filters and practising the ancient art of talking to people face-to-face.
Organizers have promised a full refund to ticket holders, but locals remain sceptical, wondering if they’ll receive their money back in the form of organic kale or sustainably sourced quinoa.
