Local Cows Respond By Cooking Deconstructed Human Sausages

Upon hearing earlier reports of a deconstructed Sausage Sizzle at Bunnings, local cow Norman Cowsly from Huntly was not amoosed. He has taken it upon himself to open Australia’s first deconstructed human sausage sizzle at Cowabunnings by offering human sausage in bread.

“My grandfather Sir Loin showed me how to cook the first human so the steaks are high” said Heifer Cowsly.”

Bendigo’s local cow chef Heston Blumencow will be on hand to help flip the first human burger. A 40-year-old man from Kangaroo Flat named Toby. Heifer Blumencow believes that Kangaroo Flat humans are the best to cook in a human sausage sizzle due to the amount of exercise walking to Centro Lansell. Whilst humans from Eaglehawk and Golden Square are gamier.

Heifer Blumencow also advised other cows to refrain from eating Long Gully humans. “The crystal meth makes humans taste like beef jerky.”

“We can’t say where the sauce and onion come from, it’s a secret” said Heifer Blumencow.

A vegan cow alternative will be offered that’s just a human ghost in bread.

The Bendigo Standard
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