“I Really Have No F***ing Idea If It’s The Red Bin This Week”

Kangaroo Flat resident Mark Lexmark admitted today that he has no clue whether the red bin is supposed to go out for collection this week. Since the council changed general waste collection to fortnightly, the red bin’s schedule has become more elusive than a winning Powerball ticket.

“I check every week to see if the red bin is out, and nobody in the street has any idea either,” Mark told The Bendigo Standard.

Neighbours report witnessing Mr Lexmark engage in a ritualistic dance of uncertainty every bin night, standing bewildered in front of an array of bins like a lost soul at a crossroads.

“The new schedule sucks. It’s like they’re playing 4D chess with our bins.”

“It’s like a choose-your-own-adventure, but with rubbish,” commented another bemused neighbour.

As Thompson continues his internal debate, the red bin sits patiently, silently mocking him with its ambiguous contents. One can only hope the garbage crisis will be resolved before the scent of uncertainty becomes unbearable.

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