Bendigo Decides God is Vengeful

In a lackluster vote, that didn’t meet the heights of past question – How Do You Eat A Head Of Lettuce, Bendigo has deemed god (or “God” depending on how you see things – or if you see things. I mean if you see visions of angels you probably deeply believe in God, but that could also mean you’re taking too much peyote, so, hard to say if god is real) is vengeful.

“I just want milk that tastes like real milk,” said one voter.

“The Old Testament says blah, blah, blah, blah, vengeful,” said another.

“What does benevolent mean?” said a third.

If you don’t know what benevolent means, you could be in trouble should the higher power put it on a quiz to enter heaven.

Imagine that.

God with a turn-back-the-boats type of citizenship quiz before passing the pearly gates.

Question 1: Who killed my son?

Answer: Everyone.

Question 2: Am I Christian, Muslim, Jewish, or Hindu?

Answer: Everyone.

Question 3: What is my favourite colour?

Answer: Everyone. (He made them all. PS: God spells words like “colour” with a “u” because He’s real traditional.)

It’s really good to know these things.

Tell you children.

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