Here’s our guide to what the stars have in store for YOU!
♈ ARIES
March 21 to April 19
Congratulations, Aries! This week, your impulsive nature will reach new heights. Maybe you’ll finally decide to start that interpretive dance class for cats you’ve been dreaming about. Because, let’s face it, the world has been waiting for your feline choreography skills.
Your lucky colour: Toe Jam Teal.
♉ TAURUS
April 20 to May 20
This week, Taurus, your stubbornness will be on full display. It’s about time you realize that not everything in life can be fixed with a determined glare and a refusal to budge. But who needs flexibility when you can stand firm and accomplish… well, absolutely nothing.
Your lucky colour: Traffic Cone Orange.
♊ GEMINI
May 21 to June 20
Brace yourself, Gemini, for a week of indecision and conflicting emotions. It’s almost as if you have a split personality. Oh wait, you do! Remember, having two faces doesn’t make you mysterious; it just means you’re good at confusing yourself.
Your lucky colour: Faded Salmon Pink.
♋ CANCER
June 21 to July 22
This week, Cancer, your sensitivity will be off the charts. It’s adorable how you take everything so personally. Maybe the world will revolve around your feelings one day, but until then, try not to cry over spilled almond milk.
Your lucky colour: Muted Olive.
♌ LEO
July 23 to August 22
Attention-seeking Leo, this week is all about you, as usual. Your desire for admiration will be at an all-time high. Remember, the world won’t collapse if you’re not the centre of attention for a minute. But who are we kidding? It probably should.
Your lucky colour: Puke Green.
♍ VIRGO
August 23 to September 22
Virgo, your perfectionism will be in full swing this week. Newsflash: No one cares about the alignment of your cutlery or the impeccable organization of your sock drawer. Maybe channel that energy into something more meaningful, like world peace or finding a hobby.
Your lucky colour: Toilet Water Blue.
♎ LIBRA
September 23 to October 22
Oh, Libra, the world is just not fair. Your quest for balance and harmony will be tested this week when life refuses to follow your carefully crafted script. Maybe try embracing the chaos for once – it might be refreshing.
Your lucky colour: Soggy Snot Green.
♏ SCORPIO
October 23 to November 21
Scorpio, your intensity knows no bounds. This week, your mysterious aura might be mistaken for a chronic resting grump face. At least people won’t bother you with their trivial conversations. Who needs friends when you have your brooding silence?
Your lucky colour: Expired Eggplant Purple.
♐ SAGITTARIUS
November 22 to December 21
This week, Sagittarius, your restlessness will reach new heights. Perhaps it’s time to consider a career as a professional escape artist, given your talent for running away from responsibilities. Just make sure you have a map – or not. Getting lost could be fun, too, right?
Your lucky colour: Dusty Dishwater Gray.
♑ CAPRICORN
December 22 to January 19
Capricorn, your ambition is truly inspiring. Unfortunately, not everyone shares your enthusiasm for climbing the corporate ladder. Maybe one day, people will understand the importance of color-coded spreadsheets and endless meetings. But probably not.
Your lucky colour: Rancid Radish Red.
♒ AQUARIUS
January 20 to February 18
Aquarius, your rebellious spirit will be in full force this week. It’s genuinely awe-inspiring how you defy authority while simultaneously clinging to your quirky ideals. Keep fighting the system – because someone has to fight for the right to wear mismatched socks.
Your lucky colour: Moldy Mustard.
♓ PISCES
February 19 to March 20
Pisces, your dreamy nature will be on display this week. Maybe it’s time to return to reality and join the rest of us in the mundane world. Who needs dreams and imagination when you can be excited about paying bills and doing laundry?
Your lucky colour: Puddle Brown.
