Here’s our guide to what the stars have in store for YOU!
♈ ARIES
March 21 to April 19
Congratulations, Aries! This week, the stars predict that you’ll discover a groundbreaking invention: the snooze button. It’s the perfect solution for those early morning responsibilities you’d rather avoid. Embrace the revolutionary idea of sleeping in just a bit longer – your boss will surely understand.
Your lucky colour: Disinterested Denim.
♉ TAURUS
April 20 to May 20
This week, Taurus, your stubbornness reaches new heights. You’re determined to prove that folding fitted sheets is a real skill, not just a mythical feat. Spoiler alert: You’ll end up with a shapeless mess resembling a defeated origami project. Maybe it’s time to embrace the “rolling into a ball” technique?
Your lucky colour: Apathetic Lavender.
♊ GEMINI
May 21 to June 20
Gemini, your social butterfly wings might need a break this week. The stars suggest trying a new hobby: solitude. Lock yourself in a room, turn off your phone, and enjoy some quality time with your thoughts. It’s like a spa day for introverts.
Your lucky colour: Unimpressed Yellow.
♋ CANCER
June 21 to July 22
Dear Cancer, this week is all about balance. You’ll attempt to juggle multiple tasks at once, but let’s be real – you’re about as coordinated as a cat on a unicycle. Don’t worry; dropping the ball (or several) is just your way of embracing a spontaneous, chaotic dance of life.
Your lucky colour: Ambiguous Apricot.
♌ LEO
July 23 to August 22
Attention-seeking Leo, this week your quest for admiration reaches new heights. You’ll attempt a grand entrance at every gathering, only to realize that the stars are not aligning in your favor. Don’t worry; you’re still the star of your one-person show.
Your lucky colour: Sarcastic Salmon.
♍ VIRGO
August 23 to September 22
Virgo, this week the stars advise you to loosen your grip on perfectionism. Embrace the chaos and try a new approach: procrastination. After all, why do today what you can put off until the last possible moment? Your future self will surely thank you.
Your lucky colour: Invisible Pink.
♎ LIBRA
September 23 to October 22
Libra, this week your indecisiveness reaches Olympic levels. Choosing between two equally unimportant options becomes a Herculean task. Just flip a coin, and blame the universe for not providing clearer cosmic guidance. Problem solved!
Your lucky colour: Shrek Green.
♏ SCORPIO
October 23 to November 21
Scorpio, your mysterious aura intensifies this week. People may mistake your brooding silence for deep introspection, but in reality, you’re just contemplating whether pizza is a suitable breakfast choice. Spoiler: It is.
Your lucky colour: Indifferent Teal.
♐ SAGITTARIUS
November 22 to December 21
Sagittarius, your wanderlust is strong this week, but unfortunately, your budget isn’t. Consider exploring the uncharted territories of your own backyard or living room. Who knows what treasures you’ll find under the couch cushions?
Your lucky colour: Pretentious Purple.
♑ CAPRICORN
December 22 to January 19
Capricorn, your ambitious nature leads you to set unrealistic goals this week. Building a rocket to the moon in your spare time might be a tad overzealous. Perhaps start with something more manageable, like mastering the art of assembling IKEA furniture without swearing.
Your lucky colour: Mundane Olive.
♒ AQUARIUS
January 20 to February 18
Aquarius, your rebellious spirit is on fire this week. You’ll boldly defy societal norms by wearing mismatched socks or eating dessert before dinner. Brace yourself for the shocked gasps and disapproving stares from those who take life way too seriously.
Your lucky colour: Almost White.
♓ PISCES
February 19 to March 20
Pisces, your dreamy nature collides with reality this week. You’ll attempt to navigate the practical world with the grace of a unicorn on roller skates. Spoiler alert: Unicorns can’t roller skate, and you might struggle with basic tasks. Embrace the whimsy and let the chaos unfold!
Your lucky colour: Office Beige.
