Here are your Horoscopes for this week. ♐ Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21 Your coworkers are planning your birthday party. But they have the wrong date. • Your life is a series of ups and downs. Like a toilet plunger. • You will fart...
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Here are your Horoscopes for this week. ♐ Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21 You will receive a phone call tonight. Wait for six rings before answering. • The Feds want to talk about your surfing habits • People like you make me sick....
Read moreHere are your Horoscopes for this week. ♐ Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21 A drinking problem would make you more interesting. • You're no athlete. Stop kidding yourself. • Baked goods are in abundance. • You will discuss a matter of grave importance with someone...
Read moreHere are your Horoscopes for this week. ♏ Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21 Your parents wanted a boy. • Tired of the constant accusations, you will buy a dog to take the heat for farting. ♐ Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21 Keep a close...
Read moreHere are your Horoscopes for this week. ♏ Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21 There's a video of you on YouTube that you should probably investigate. • Your fun side comes out in obscene ways. • Don't leave the house for at least a month ...
Read moreHere are your Horoscopes for this week. ♏ Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21 There's nothing good on tonight. • People like you make me sick. • Baked goods are in abundance. • Aaaaah! There's a bug on your shoulder! ♐ Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21...
Read moreHere are your Horoscopes for this week. Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22 Your father is not an astronaut. • It's okay to isolate, as long as you don't do it alone. • The planetary influences will irritate your bowels this week. • That favorite...
Read moreHere are your Horoscopes for this week. ♌ Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22 You will re-enact scenes from Lord Of The Rings with your cat but it ends up being Harry Potter instead. ♍ Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22 Your financial...
Read moreHere are your Horoscopes for this week. ♌ Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22 Today will be full of hits, misses, and gun jams. ♍ Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22 The milk is going bad as you read this. Seriously, don't you...
Read moreHere are your Horoscopes for this week. ♌ Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22 If it's your birthday enjoy it like its your first. ♍ Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22 It's OK, it happens to everyone. Just not as often. Your lucky...
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