Your Horoscope – Week Of February 19, 2024

Here’s our guide to what the stars have in store for YOU!

ARIES

March 21 to April 19

Today, Aries, the stars predict that your impulsive nature will accidentally lead you to adopt a herd of feral cats. Embrace the chaos as your new feline friends take over your home, demanding gourmet treats and redecorating with shredded furniture. It’s not a mistake; it’s a purr-sonal enrichment project.

This week’s lucky colour is Chartreuse because nothing says “luck” like a colour that’s hard to spell.

TAURUS

April 20 to May 20

Taurus, your stubborn streak will be your greatest asset today as you refuse to accept that your favourite pair of socks has developed a mysterious hole. Stand your ground and wear them proudly, declaring that the new ventilation adds character. It’s not a wardrobe malfunction; it’s avant-garde fashion.

This week’s lucky colour is Plaid because nothing says luck, like looking like a walking picnic table.

GEMINI

May 21 to June 20

Today, Geminis, your multitasking skills will reach new heights as you attempt to simultaneously start a podcast, master a new instrument, and learn a dead language. Spoiler alert: You’ll become fluent in Klingon, playing the kazoo, and talking to yourself. The stars applaud your commitment to overachieving mediocrity.

This week’s lucky colour is Salmon Pink, the colour of good fortune in avoiding awkward elevator encounters with your ex.

CANCER

June 21 to July 22

Cancer, today is the perfect day to embrace your inner hermit. Lock yourself in your cozy cocoon of blankets and snacks, binge-watching obscure documentaries about the history of rubber ducks. Remember, solitude is not loneliness but an advanced form of self-care.

Paisley Purple is the colour that guarantees you’ll be the life of the polka-dot party.

LEO

July 23 to August 22

Leo, the stars suggest that today is the day to showcase your dramatic flair. Embellish your mundane stories with exquisite details, turning a trip to the grocery store into an epic saga of conquest and peril. Remember, who will be if you’re not the hero of your own story?

This week’s lucky colour is Peach, the lucky tint for never having a “Reply All” mishap in professional email threads.

VIRGO

August 23 to September 22

Virgo, your meticulous planning will face an unexpected challenge today when you discover that your GPS has a rebellious spirit. Embrace the detours, take the scenic route, and remember that getting lost is just an opportunity for a spontaneous adventure. Who needs Google Maps when you have cosmic chaos?

This week’s lucky colour is Indigo, which always guarantees a non-awkward handshake.

LIBRA

September 23 to October 22

Libra, today you’ll find yourself caught in the crossfire of a heated debate between a pineapple and a pizza. Take a diplomatic approach, suggesting that they coexist peacefully on a plate without judgment. After all, if fruit can peacefully coexist with dough, maybe there’s hope for world peace.

This week’s lucky colour is Marigold, the lucky tint for never getting a “Your storage is full” notification on your phone.

SCORPIO

October 23 to November 21

Scorpio, today your mysterious aura will reach peak intensity as you accidentally send a text meant for your pet tarantula to your boss. Fear not; your enigmatic charm will turn this awkward situation into a workplace legend. Embrace the web of confusion you’ve spun.

This week’s lucky colour is Mint Green, the lucky hue for never experiencing a wardrobe malfunction on an important day.

SAGITTARIUS

November 22 to December 21

Sagittarius, today you’ll discover that your adventurous spirit knows no bounds as you attempt to recreate a viral dance trend in the office elevator. Embrace the bewildered stares and awkward silence that follow; you were born to dance like nobody’s watching, even when everybody is.

This week’s lucky colour is Mustard Yellow for those who want to be lucky and look like a hot dog condiment at the same time.

CAPRICORN

December 22 to January 19

Capricorn, the stars advise you to channel your inner minimalist today. Declutter your life by Marie Kondo-ing everything, including your social media friends, your collection of rubber bands, and your dreams of becoming a professional yodeler. Sometimes, less is truly more.

This week’s lucky colour is Avocado Green because being lucky is as trendy as avocado toast.

AQUARIUS

January 20 to February 18

Aquarius, your humanitarian instincts will be tested today as you attempt to save the planet by recycling your neighbour’s noisy lawnmower. Embrace your eco-warrior alter ego and proudly declare that you’re reducing noise pollution, one borrowed gardening tool at a time.

This week’s lucky colour is Denim Destiny because who knew your favourite jeans could also bring good fortune?

PISCES

February 19 to March 20

Pisces, today you’ll find inspiration in the most unlikely places – like your overflowing laundry basket. Embrace the artistic chaos and create a masterpiece from mismatched socks and discarded pizza boxes. Remember, true creativity is often mistaken for a messy living space.

This week’s lucky colour is Midnight Mirage, a deep, mysterious colour for those who believe luck is most potent under cover of darkness.

The Bendigo Standard
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