Possessed Pothole In Napier St Roadworks Swallows Man’s Car

A man drowned after a possessed pothole swallowed his car and spat it back out last night.

The man was travelling along the Napier St upgrade when the road opened up and digested the man and his car. He failed to slow down and see the giant hole in time.

A woman passing by found the wreck on the side of the road with a complete skeleton of the man the car was stripped down to it’s chassis. Fortunately the man was still wearing his seat belt. “It’s like the road digested him and the car and spat out his bones” said the woman.

Neighbours said “I heard thunder that sounded like a burp.”

Bendigo council is perplexed about what to do as the pothole is alive. Local priests have been asked to perform an exorcism to prevent this tragic accident from happening again. Doctors have also suggested dropping a ton of Milanta into to hole from a helicopter.

A construction worker said “This isn’t the first time, that’s why it’s taking so long to finish the road.”

Bendigo Council is recommends everyone takes caution and care driving past the pothole and to not upset the giant hole.

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