Black Hole To Become Bendigo’s Newest Landfill

A solution to Bendigo’s waste problems has been found as the Bendigo council prepares for the closure of Eaglehawk landfill. The council has announced it will use the newly discovered black hole as the new landfill.

Other options discussed included putting rubbish in abandoned mine shafts. “The black hole’s just a vacuum so you don’t have to worry about the EPA or any other environmental laws,” said CEO of waste Sharon McClarron

“We don’t know where all those old Microsoft Zunes, Snuggies or Christmas neck ties will go when they’re sucked into the Abyss,” Mrs McClarron said. “If there’s an alternative Bendigo the other side of the black hole then it’s their problem.”

Each year, the Bendigo council will purchase one of Elon Musks Space X rockets, tie a giant garbage bag to it that will contain all of Bendigo’s trash. and send it to the black hole. The council believes half of the trash will be burnt up in the atmosphere.

The Bendigo hospital helipad will double as the launch site for the Space X rocket.

The Bendigo Standard
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