Your Horoscope – Week Of March 13, 2023

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Here’s your horoscope for the week.


♓ Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20

Your intuition will guide you this week, Pisces. Unless you’re like most people and your intuition is just a vague feeling that you’re forgetting something important.

Your lucky colour: Neon Puce. This bold and bright shade of pink is sure to catch the eye of everyone around you, bringing you good luck and maybe even a few laughs.


♈ Aries | March 21 to April 19

Congratulations, Aries! This week, the stars have aligned to bring you a surge of confidence and motivation. Unfortunately, that won’t make up for your complete lack of talent and skills.

Your lucky colour: Chartreuse with Envy. This lively and energetic green hue is perfect for those who want to stand out from the crowd and attract good fortune, while also making others green with envy.


♉ Taurus | April 20 to May 20

This week, Taurus, you’ll finally achieve that long-awaited sense of inner peace. Just kidding, you’ll be too busy stressing about your latest Amazon delivery to feel anything else.

Your lucky colour: Budgie Smuggler Yellow. This playful shade of yellow is a nod to the popular men’s swimwear style and is sure to bring a smile to anyone’s face. It’s a great colour to wear when you need a boost of luck and confidence.


♊ Gemini | May 21 to June 20

As a Gemini, you love adventure and exploration. This week, try something new and exciting, like bungee jumping or skydiving. Just don’t forget to bring a change of underwear.

Your lucky colour: Fuchsia Frenzy. This vibrant and bold shade of purple-pink is perfect for those who want to make a statement and attract positive energy. It’s a fun and funky colour that is sure to put a smile on your face.


♋ Cancer | June 21 to July 22

Your empathetic nature is your greatest strength, Cancer. But it’s also the reason why you cry every time a commercial for dog food comes on.

Your lucky colour: Neon polka-dot purple with a hint of unicorn sparkle.


♌ Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22

This week, Leo, you’ll be in the spotlight. Unfortunately, it’s the spotlight of a police car because you got caught stealing a Mars bar from a servo.

Your lucky colour: Disco ball silver with a dash of glittery gold.


Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22

You’ve been feeling stressed lately, Virgo. Maybe try some relaxation techniques, like yoga or meditation. Or just do what you always do and stress-eat an entire pizza while watching Married At First Sight or The Kardashians or whatever crap Gen Z’s are watching now.

Your lucky colour: Zesty lime green with a sprinkle of leprechaun dust


♎ Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22

The stars are telling you to take risks, Libra. So go ahead and try that new sushi place down the street. It probably won’t give you food poisoning.

Your lucky colour: Cosmic cotton candy pink with a touch of shooting star sparkle.


Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21

You’re a natural leader, Scorpio. But sometimes people wish you would just shut up and let someone else have a turn.

Your lucky colour: Unicorn horn white with a sprinkle of rainbow magic.


♐ Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21

This week, you’ll find yourself in new and exciting situations, Sagittarius. But let’s be real, you’ll probably just end up binge-watching Netflix in your sweatpants.

Your lucky colour: Polka Dot Pink. Not just any pink, mind you. This pink needs to have polka dots in order to maximize your luck potential.


♑ Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19

Your hard work and determination will pay off this week, Capricorn. Unless you’re a freelance writer, in which case you’ll be broke forever.

Your lucky colour: Robot rainbow red with a dash of cyborg chrome.


♒ Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18

You’re a free spirit, Aquarius. But that doesn’t mean you have to wear tie-dye and talk about chakras all the time.

Your lucky colour: Mermaid tail turquoise with a splash of ocean spray.

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