In a stunning turn of events, local car thief Jake Mildew was reportedly dumbfounded to find a stack of unpaid parking tickets in the glove box of his recently stolen vehicle. Mildew, known for his avant-garde approach to vehicular acquisitions, expressed his disbelief at the unexpected inconvenience.
“I was just trying to joyride in peace, and now I have to deal with someone else’s parking problems. It’s like eating a Snickers and finding out you have a nut allergy,” said Mildew, who is now contemplating a career change to a less form of criminality.
Meanwhile, police advise car thieves to thoroughly check stolen vehicles for hidden surprises, as unpaid tolls, expired air fresheners, and overdue library books could be lurking around any corner.
