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Kids

Food Left In School Bag Over The Christmas Holidays Creates New Colony

School is back this week, but not all news is good for one parent. The mother of a 13-year-old boy discovered a colony of mould...

Kids Declare First Day Of School Holidays A Win After Cleaning Out Fridge

The average child consumes enough sugar on the first day of school holidays to power a small city. The Darcy kids just shattered that...

Mum Demands To Know Where You Learnt That Word

Studies show the average child hears over 1,000 swear words per year from their parents—a number local mum Kim Dawson seems intent on driving...

Midwife No Longer Impressed By The Miracle Of Birth

Despite the millions of births that happen worldwide each year, one midwife in Bendigo has officially lost all sense of wonder over the process....

Mum Stuns Internet With Photo Of Baby Born With A Tramp Stamp

Bendigo Health's maternity ward welcomed a newborn baby girl overnight with an unexpected fashion statement: a butterfly tramp stamp. The one-day-old infant is believed...

Local Sperm Cell Reveals How It Bought It’s First Investment Property

A local sperm cell has proudly announced the acquisition of its first investment property. In an exclusive interview with The Bendigo Standard, the microscopic...

Dad Tells Kids The Animals On Old Bondi Vet Episodes Are Dead Now

Steve Stevenson, a local dad and self-proclaimed bearer of inconvenient truths, dropped a bombshell at the family dinner table last night while his family...

Local Prep Grader Declares Early Retirement, Demands Golden Watch and Pension After Exhausting First Week of School

Little Timmy Thompson has officially declared himself "done" after just one week of prep grade. Sources close to the situation report that Timmy has...

Couple Have Baby And Don’t Announce It On Facebook

Bendigo locals Emma and Tom Johnson welcomed a beautiful baby into the world without bombarding your news feed with 547 baby photos. The daring couple...

Mum Yells Every Other Siblings Name Before Yours

A Bendigo mum and full-time name juggler has once again demonstrated her uncanny ability to shout out the names of all her children except...

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