Here’s your horoscope for the week.
♓ Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20
You will have a sudden urge to start a dance party in your living room, but your pet will judge you for your lack of rhythm. Your lucky colour: Baby poo brown
♈ Aries | March 21 to April 19
Today, you will discover a new favourite snack, but you will accidentally eat the whole bag and feel guilty about it for the rest of the day. Your lucky colour is Barney Green
♉ Taurus | April 20 to May 20
You’ll have a sudden craving for pizza, but your significant other will insist on making a healthy, home-cooked meal. The compromise: a healthy pizza. Your lucky colour is fluorescent black.
♊ Gemini | May 21 to June 20
You’ll have a random encounter with a former flame, but you’ll be too busy trying to come up with a witty comeback to actually have a conversation. Your lucky colour is naval orange orange.
♋ Cancer | June 21 to July 22
Your stubbornness is going to be your downfall this week, cancer. Maybe it’s time to let someone else choose the restaurant for once. You might just discover a new favourite food that isn’t a parma. Your lucky colour is whatever colour your iPhone is.
♌ Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22
You’re feeling extra dramatic this week, Leo, so maybe lay off the theatrics for a bit. No one wants to hear your one-man reenactment of Frozen during lunch break. Your lucky colour is KFC red.
♍ Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22
Your indecisiveness is going to be your downfall this week, Virgo. Maybe it’s time to stop asking your friends for their opinions on everything and just make a decision for once. Unless, of course, you can’t decide which decision to make. Your lucky colour is Walter White.
♎ Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22
You will start the week with a bang! Literally, you’ll hit your head on something. But don’t worry, it will only make you more determined to succeed. Watch out for sharp corners and low-hanging objects. Your lucky colour is refrigerator white.
♏ Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21
Your mysterious aura is attracting attention this week, Scorpio, but don’t worry – it’s not because you have a secret admirer. It’s probably just because you forgot to zip up your pants again. Your lucky colour is bong water clear.
♐ Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21
Your imagination will be running wild this week, which is great for creativity but not so great for reality. Buy a cat and name it Mel. Your lucky colour is Alf Brown. Remember Alf?
♑ Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19
This week, your wanderlust will be at an all-time high. But remember, it’s not always about the destination, it’s about the journey. Just make sure you have enough snacks for the road trip. Your exciting plans for the weekend bore the planets. Your lucky colour is banana black.
♒ Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18
You will have an epiphany today and realize that you’re actually a Gemini, not an Aquarius like you thought. Congratulations, you’ve been living a lie! Your lucky colour is… I don’t know… make something up. Use your initiative. I’m not your Dad. Do you know how hard it is to write these things week after week?