Nudists Declare War on Winter By Wearing Socks Only

In a bold attempt to combat the unseasonably cold weather, several dedicated nudists in Bendigo have been spotted wearing nothing but socks to shield themselves from the icy chill, sources report.

“It’s all about compromise,” explained one shivering enthusiast, who preferred to remain bare except for a fetching pair of striped woollen socks. “We love our nudist lifestyle, but even we have limits. These socks are our way of staying true to our principles while not completely freezing our buns off.”

“I saw a guy wearing Christmas-themed socks in June. Okay,” remarked a bemused onlooker. “Who am I to judge?”

Local meteorologists predict even colder temperatures in the coming weeks, prompting fears that nudists might become obsessed with wearing two socks on each foot. “That would defeat the purpose,” whined a purist nudist.

In the meantime, City of Greater Bendigo is considering alternatives to support Bendigo’s nudist community, including heated footpaths and nudist-friendly blankets. “We’re committed to ensuring everyone can enjoy the outdoors in their preferred state of dress,” assured a city spokesperson while discreetly passing out pamphlets on the benefits of long johns.

Despite the frigid conditions, Bendigo’s nudists remain resolute in their commitment to embracing nature—albeit with significantly warmer feet.

“That breeze off Lake Weeroona is brutal.”

The Bendigo Standard