July 4, 2024

Politics

Mayor Excited to Attend Conference in Portugal, Because Who Needs a Functional Local Council Anyway?

In a move that has left locals Googling the distance between Bendigo and Portugal, Mayor Andrea Metcalf is set to jet off to Braga...

Council to Fix Potholes by Removing All Roads

City of Greater Bendigo has declared an audacious plan to eliminate the problem altogether: removing all the roads. Mayor Andrea Metcalf announced the radical...

Council Turns Potholes Into 5000 New Swimming Pools

Bendigo City Council announced yesterday its ingenious solution to the city's notorious pothole problem: turning them into 5000 new swimming pools. "We realised that fixing...

Ratepayers Can’t Wait To See How The Council Spends Their Hard Earned Money

Local ratepayer Gary Farke can hardly contain his excitement as he anticipates how his city council will waste his pay. "It's like Christmas come early!"...

Bendigo Council Votes To Rename Huntly to Moist

Bendigo City Council has announced that it will rename the suburb of Huntly "Moist." "We are excited to announce that we are changing the name...

Wacky Waving Inflatable Tube Guy Sits In Bendigo Council Meeting

Wacky Waving Inflatable Tube Guy was reportedly invited to attend the meeting as a representative of the local business community. As soon as the meeting...

Council Requires Every Driver To Flip The Bird At Intersections

In a bold new measure to reduce road rage and increase camaraderie among drivers, the City of Greater Bendigo has passed a law requiring...

Bendigo Council Elections: Recommended Whipstick Ward Candidates

We continue with our last-minute coverage of local candidates. Virginia Bigsnax I was diagnosed at the age of 3 with Benjamin Button syndrome. I may look...

Bendigo Council Elections: Recommended Lockwood Ward Candidates

Muffin Finsteine Hello, my name is Muffin Finestine. I’m 38 years of old and after six failed businesses I know what it takes to avoid...

Bendigo Council Welcomes New Robot Mower Overlords

Manual labour will soon be a thing of the past after the Bendigo Council deployed an army of robot mowers this week. At an official...

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