Local News
Bendigo Churches Insist They Are Nothing Like Hillsong
Bendigo Churches have boldly proclaimed that they have absolutely nothing in common with the global phenomenon of Hillsong. Despite overwhelming evidence, pastors remain steadfast...
Bendigo Bank Rolls Out Man Flu Leave
Bendigo Bank has announced the introduction of a revolutionary new Man Flu leave policy exclusively designed for male employees.
According to the bank's HR department,...
New Study Shows 50% of People Can’t Spill
A new studdy conducted by the Bendigo University of Linguistic Observations (BULO) reveels a shocking find: 50% of people can't spill. Prof. Mike L....
Council Turns Potholes Into 5000 New Swimming Pools
Bendigo City Council announced yesterday its ingenious solution to the city's notorious pothole problem: turning them into 5000 new swimming pools.
"We realized that fixing...
Bendigo Residents To Vote On Correct Pronunciation Of ‘Mall’
It's an issue that has divided Bendigo residents for a long time, and now the residents of Bendigo are set to vote on the...
ChatGPT to Replace Bendigo Councillors, Promises to Be More Human than Actual Humans
City of Greater Bendigo has announced plans to replace all councillors with ChatGPT, OpenAI's advanced language model. The AI, which comes pre-loaded with Bendigo...
Local Woman Drops Phone In Lake Weeroona. Turtles Unimpressed by iPhone 14
Local woman Kate O'Connell accidentally dropped her brand-new iPhone 14 in Lake Weeroona on Saturday, sending shockwaves throughout the turtle community. The device failed...
Galactic Empire Celebrates Star Wars Day by Blowing Up Bendigo
In a stunning display of force, the Galactic Empire celebrated Star Wars Day by obliterating Bendigo in a move reminiscent of the destruction of...
Centrelink Hold Music Crushes Caller’s Spirit
California Gully resident Sharon Thompson has admitted defeat after a gruelling 60-minute standoff with Centrelink's notorious hold music. Mrs Thompson, who began the call...
Local Woman Is 100% Sure The Discman In Cashies Is Hers
Local woman, Candy Skeeball, has made an earth-shattering discovery at Cash Converters – a vintage Discman that she is positively and undeniably certain was...