Young Girl Trapped Inside Cage to Celebrate the Coming of Summer

By on October 30, 2018

“Isn’t it wonderful, with the spring, and flowers, and warmer weather. It just makes you want to dress in black and kill things,” said Ian Grey, 41, Flora Hill.

It’s that time of year again when primary school teachers give-up and look for easy options.

“I’ve decided this year to make it a test,” said Mr Grey, who works at Flora Hill Primary School, this is despite attempts by the Department of Corrections to stop him, but you know what bureaucratic red tape is like, I mean, gosh, what a nightmare it is just getting a Medicare rebate, nevermind getting a fifteen year prison sentence for non-aggravated child torture recognised by a school board.

So this year, like every year, Mr Grey is making his class cut out scary images of bats, and witches, and pumpkins.

“It’s the wrong time of year for pumpkins, ha!, ha!, so all the pictures are rotten and mouldy,” said Mr Grey.

Also, there’s the evil witches, who can be seen carrying household cleaning devices and cooking.

“Fear the stereotype of women doing domesticated duties,” said Mr Grey. “Or as we say, DEMON-esticated,” and he laughs to himself.

As punishment for drawing outside the lines or believing the improved weather conditions is a good time to celebrate life rather than be mischievous about death, Mr Grey is locking errant children in his cage.

“Yes, and I don’t tell their parents,” said Mr Grey. “Or feed the children for three days.”

Ha, ha, ha, what a marvellous All Hallows’ Eve prank.

About Luke Morris

After writing skits, columns and stories for a university magazine, Luke was a copywriter and web content manager in the wine industry. Since then he has written documentary and comedy treatments for television and cinema, as well as education, short story and humour blogs, short stage plays, humour articles, and novels. His work has been used by LeftLion, Fairfax, Play6, The Curio, Vinified, and various other blogs and businesses. He has appeared at stand-up shows in Australia, England and Iceland, and is active with Bendigo Comedy.

One Comment

  1. Anonymous

    October 30, 2018 at 7:26 am

    The warmer weather does make me want to kill things (mainly myself). And kids should always be locked up 😉

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