Study Finds 100% of Kids Singing Daddy Finger or Baby Shark Song Will Miss Christmas

By on August 16, 2018
Parents Enemy Number 1

A new study was released today. Results show 100% of kids who sing that [F%$*ing] Daddy Finger or Baby Shark song miss Christmas.

Kids have been playing the same 3 YouTube videos over and over ad-nausem. Parents everywhere have cancelled their Big W Toy Sale Layby’s. It is a last resort to curb out unruly behaviour.

The Bendigo Standard spoke to Santa Claus for questioning and he said “Any kid that plays the Daddy Finger song can Jingle This All The Way.”

Kerry Stevenson from Swallow Knob in Victoria said “I’ve tried everything but the little buggers keep playing it. I want my life back.”

The Wiggles have added the song to their repertoire of hits. Parents are planning to boycott.

Las Vegas band The Killers and Christian AC/DC tribute band AD/BC have also added it to their set lists.

A small number of parents have submitted themselves for psychiatric care in attempt to get the songs out of their head.

There has been a number of injuries with parents destroying mobile devices. A 26 year old man broke his wrist after breaking his daughters iPad in half. His doctor suspect it may be an old Nintendo Wii Bowling injury that’s flared up.

Parents are petitioning YouTube to take down all offending videos.

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About Mike Elliott

Sharknado Survivor • Musician • Richmond Tigers tragic • Simpsons fanatic • Muppets fan • I love Bendigo • No, I don't wanna build a snowman

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