Local News - Page 41

Victoriaā€™s First Heroin Parlour to Open in Bendigo

ā€œIt seemed a natural progression,ā€ said Fakey McStory, 87, Sailors Gully. After watching WWE wrestling become more extreme with the UFC, and McDonaldā€™s become fancy...

Crate Man Announced As The Next Bachelor

Channel Ten announced yesterday that the next Bachelor will be Bendigo's own Crate Man. "I'm just looking for the right Crate to spend the rest...

La Trobe Uni Studentā€™s Study Habit Borders On The Insane

ā€œTo start with,ā€ said Hilary Duff, 19, originally from Echuca but now Hilltops Aprt. ā€œBefore I start study I like to boil a jug...

New Eaglehawk Childrenā€™s Playground Has One Major Drawback

Itā€™s still in Eaglehawk.

Bendigo Decides God is Vengeful

In a lackluster vote, that didn't meet the heights of past question - How Do You Eat A Head Of Lettuce, Bendigo has deemed...

Eaglehawk Resident Doesn’t Care For Other Grand Final

"Premiers!" said Troy Butterfield, 45, from Eaglehawk. The AFL Grand Final is on today, but for Mr Butterfield the big game was last week. "Premiers! said...

Kangaroo Flat Woman Brags About Not Using Gym Membership

"I don't even need it," said Gertrude Stein, 47, Kangaroo Flat. Apparently Miss Stein has held a gym membership for eight years and not touched...

Epsom Woman Believes Can of Coke Tastes Better Than Bottle of Coke

"It's all about the fung shui of the vessel," said Megan Fox, 32, Epsom. As though the glug of a fizzy drink, best known for...

School Girl Wishes Magpies Would Swoop Teacher

"Bugger off 'pies," said Jessixa Hill, 7, Maiden Gully. It's magpie swooping season, and Jessixa Hill wishes they'd leave her alone. "They bugger swoop me the...

Ironbark Definitely a Place, says “Ironbark” Resident

"It's not just a suburb of Long Gully," said Matt McKay, 47, Ironbark aka Long Gully resident. According to Australia Post - they're the mob...

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