A Santa at a Ballarat shopping centre confessed today that he despises kids.
The unnamed Santa said “I took this job as I’m getting married in February and thought this was a good way to make money. These kids suck worst than day old milk and cookies.”
Meanwhile in Bendigo it’s a completely different story. Local Santa’s are enjoying their job. “I’m really enjoying my job” said the unnamed Santa. “It’s such a blessing to be able to spread Christmas cheer to the children.”
The Victorian Government is perplexed why Ballarat Santa’s are having more problems than other places such as Bendigo or Stawell.
Another Ballarat Santa has also been struggling with health issues. “My knee is stuffed, I was gonna go to Torquay for New Years but I can’t do that now” he says. However, Bendigo Santa’s have been enjoying the benefits of 11 months of paid leave with Superannuation and private health cover.
Another Ballarat Santa is currently under investigation after smacking a child after he chucked a tantrum on the floor because he was sick of waiting for his turn. Santa was overheard in a car park saying “I didn’t sign up for this when I did my Santa TAFE course. Jingle this all the way Ballarat.”
Toughen up you Ballarat Santas. You know what you signed on for. Just don’t try muscling in on our Bendigo patch!
Obviously Bendigo kids are awesome.