Law & Order

Local man Claude has been named Bendigo's oldest Eshay. "Claude was there when the original mall was built and there again in the redevelopment in the late naughties," City of Greater Bendigo's Bob Squash said. "He actually designed the mall. We regret nothing". The Bendigo...

Residents are demanding more road crossing options in the Kangaroo Flat CBD. Concerned Kangaroo Flatian Rebecca Wright said "Current lights are OK to get from Commonwealth Bank to the Kangaroo Flat Hotel, but how are we supposed to go from Domino's to the Windermere?" Nick...

Donald Trump has spared no expense in hiring constitutional law expert Dennis Denuto, as seen in the movie the Castle. "I look forward to Dennis Denuto spearheading the legal effort to defend OUR RIGHT to free and fair elections!" Mr Trump said. Mr Denuto is...

When Bacardi Phonesdead helped her six-year-old daughter set up her first marijuana stand over the weekend, she thought it would be a lesson in entrepreneurship and charity. “My daughter went online and decided she wanted to raise money for charity,” she said. But they got...

Boring word guy Will Neverme, 24, of Sailors Gully, said of Castlemaine, "Technically speaking a castle is any fortified structure, often with a moat protection but like with sex, as long as there's some protection technically that's enough to qualify." Sounds pretty flimsy. "No, I...

Smuggling food into movies may be a thing of the past after Bendigo Cinemas announced the debut of their new body scanners. The scanners will restrict outside food, drinks, video cameras and multiple people hiding in trench coats. Bendigo Cinemas spokesperson said, "During a trial,...

Bendigo Comic-Con organisers were in a rush to reassure visitors after noted cosplayer William Dangles was arrested by police for public indecency. Arresting officer Andy Cuffs said “Look, you can’t walk around with just body paint, especially with kids around. And we’ve some additional questions...

An award-winning lamb is currently under investigation and may be stripped of its title after veterinarians at the Australian Sheep and Wool Show in Bendigo found illegal drugs in its system. Lamb Armstrong, a grand champion lamb was given performance-enhancing drugs (PEDs), which is banned...

The notorious Toe Tickler was released today on parole. Part of the conditions of parole is to wear 10 small electronic ankle bracelets on his fingers. The Toe Tickler terrorised Bendigo in the late '80s & early '90s. Over the course of 5 years, he...

A 14-year-old boy from Long Gully learned a hard lesson on life when he found out he’s not as cool at martial arts as he thought he was. The teenager is a self-taught martial artist who received a 6th-degree black belt after watching the trailer...