Local News - Page 44

Man Finds Way To Eat Banana In A Non-Sexy Way

Eaglehawk man Greg Dawson found a non-sexy way to eat a banana today. He was on his morning tea break and wore a Donald...

Bendigo Man Eats Own Head

"Tastes like chicken," reported Megan Fox, translating for her husband Mark Fox, 24, from Strathfieldsaye. It started as a bet, as these things do, when...

Hipster Crushed To Death By Own Man Bun

BREAKING: Paramedics are preparing to transport a man to hospital after reportedly being crushed by his own Man Bun The incident occurred at a Butte...

Bendigo Standard Investigates the Eye Thingy Fake News Stuff

“Nup. Not a clue who made it,” said Mike Elliott, Senior Editor of the Bendigo Standard. “I’ve not even seen the eye thingy story,” said...

Bendigo To Host John-Jacob Jingleheimer-Schmidt Convention

Bendigo is set to host the first annual John-Jacob Jingleheimer-Schmidt Convention. The event will be hosted at the All Seasons Conference Centre next year....

Bendigo Man Finishes Everything On Netflix

EPSOM man Bruce Richards today announced on Social Media he had finished watching everything on Netflix. The 43 year old quit his position as...

Moron Gets Stuck In House Of Mirrors

Huntly man Lance Richter, was trapped in the House of Mirrors in Rosalind Park for 5 hours yesterday. The 62-year-old father of 2 was...

Self-employed Woman Gets Herself In Her Office Secret Santa

“What are the odds,” said Megan Washington rhetorically. Ms. Washington, 24, Long Gully, and a freelance bobcat operator, stood in her flat's staff/lounge room and...

Newspaper Clarifies Skateboarders Are Not Actually Spewing

The Bendigo Advertiser has recently had to clarify that local skateboarders have not been ejecting undigested food stuffs and body acids via their mouths. “I...

Zaphod Beeblebrox Campaigns for American Presidency

With half a brain, boundless charisma, and an unrivalled ability at shit-talking, Zaphod Beeblebrox is poised to sweep the American Presidential election. “It's hard to...

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