Local News - Page 39

Evil Genius Captures Giant Heart in Bendigo And Ties It To The Ground For Ransom

"There was a while there when they said Bendigo didn't have a heart," said Nasty McEvil, 47, from Mackenzie St West. "Well look at...

Epsom Road Works Joins Great Wall of China As Only Man Made Structure Visible From The Moon

The International Space Station has been in contact with the Bendigo Standard. "Я не говорю по-испански," said Russian Vodka, 38, from the Space Station. It seems...

Eaglehawk Town Hall To Be Demolished For A Costco

Bendigo Council has announced plans to demolish the Eaglehawk Town Hall and make way for Bendigo's first Costco. The decades old building home to Star...

Rod Fyffe’s Hair To Serve As Mayor

Days after being re-elected as Mayor, Margaret O'Rourke has resigned. In a shocking twist, Rod Fyffe's Hair will serve as Mayor instead. Just like the...

Long Gully Rapper Learns He Ain’t As Cool As He Thought He Was

A 13 year old boy from Long Gully learned a hard lesson on life when he found out he's not as cool at rapping...

29 Year Old Potter Fan Still Waiting For Letter From Hogwarts

Bendigo's biggest Harry Potter fan, 29 year old Mary Clunes from Eaglehawk is still waiting for her acceptance letter from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft...

Kangaroo Flat Bus Evacuated After Woman Farts

A fart on a local Bendigo bus has caused an evacuation shortly after 4pm today. The number 55 bus headed to Kangaroo Flat was evacuated...

Ballarat To Merge With Bendigo

An announcement was made on Friday that Ballarat would merge with Bendigo to make one super city named Bendirat. The move has excited Ballarat...

Blues & Roots Festival Not As Sad or Sexy As Name Suggests

The Bendigo Blues & Roots Festival is in its diggity year, and none are more disappointed than Grumpy McBum, 47, from Pasco Vale. “Every year...

Bendigo Oh-God-Why-Am-I-Doing-This Run Takes Place

Bendigo's annual Oh-God-Why-Am-I-Doing-This Run has taken place, with many participants wheezing and staggering their way through the course. "Puff, puff, puff, bloody View St, puff,...

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